No this post isn’t named after another Ariana Grande song

End of the year thoughts

Looking back on this year I honestly can’t really say that I accomplished much or that much happened. I worked a lot. I did make it to the beach over the summer. I moved out. I had to get a tooth pulled. I was in two car accidents. My mom got re-established and back into her own place. My dad got remarried. I almost became a side-chick. (I’ll address this later). I cried, a lot. I questioned life. I questioned my life. I kept going. I drove a lot. I danced a lot. I drank a lot. I became a co life group leader of 12 women. I cut my own hair spontaneously. I stayed abstinent. I made a handful of new friends. All in all 2018 wasn’t bad it was just life.

Moving forward I hope that 2019 is somewhat better but with the way my anxiety is set up my mind automatically sets to “I wonder what kinds of bad things will happen this year?”

I promise I’m not that faithless.

I know that whatever 2019 brings that my God will sustain me through it all. I’ve also set a few goals. Pretty small goals because I know me. One of which is finding a therapist. I was supposed to find one this year but you know, bills.

Romantically wise: Ehh. 2018 wasn’t exactly a year of romance. After 2017 I pretty much said. “Nah, I’m good.” And to address the side-chick mention from earlier I didn’t actually become one, I had my come to Jesus moment and decided that I could in no way be that girl especially after having been on the other side once. And then I just thought, “Do you actually want to be with someone who obviously can’t be loyal in the relationship he’s already in and you have the audacity to think he gonna be faithful to YOU? Girl, bye. So yes, after months of deliberating I let that go. I mean, I’m just being honest. That decision didn’t come overnight. I turned 25 this year and really thought I was grown all of a sudden. Anyways, I’m leaving trash men alone in 2018 and perhaps just African men in general.

(Totally joking but not really.)

I wish I could give you some inspiring life advice on what to look forward to but I don’t have any. I don’t even know if I’ll continue blogging in to the next year but we’ll see. I can say that the one thing I wasn’t this year is perfect. I got angry, but I also got vulnerable. Perhaps more than I’ve ever been. I just want people to know that I’m not this picture perfect Christian. I drink whisky and I cuss sometimes but when I’m broken I still cry out to the Lord.  I want to live my life but I also want those I encounter to have the opportunity to experience Christ through me.

May 2019 bring forth a season of redemption and enlightenment.

 

See you next year God willing.

Love, Angelica

The strength to keep going

I am sick and tired of people’s prayers. I just want for my life to get better.

 

That may sound a little harsh especially coming from a “Christian” but it’s how I feel and why I haven’t been open about what’s been going on in my head. Although it may not be how I truly feel (I believe there is power in prayer.) It may very well just be my seasonal depression and constant anxiety but how do I continue to choose to want to keep going when I don’t feel anything getting better? And maybe it is just me? Maybe I’m not praying enough but how do I force myself to pray when I can’t even figure out the words to say or even have the will to try?

 

I wrote those words in my journal this past Sunday. I was feeling very sad and just alone. My dad was leaving for Mexico that morning with his new wife and I was stuck here. I got so upset, how could he leave and take her, a woman he hasn’t even known for two years before he took me, his only daughter who’s biggest dream was to go. That wasn’t even the main thing I had been going through but it was the icing on the cake to make me have a complete breakdown and cry in front of the two of them for two hours straight Saturday evening before they left. My dad doesn’t understand depression or why I am the way I am or why I’m always sad whenever I come around him now. My dad was the only person I had for the past 13 years of my life and now it feels like I don’t even have him anymore. He says he’s still there but it doesn’t feel the same. It’s not the same.

 

The next day I knew, I just knew I was going to breakdown again in church and I did. The spirit really moved that day and God knew that I needed to feel His presence. I just needed to feel like someone was there and that I truly wasn’t alone.

 

I can not tell you the cure to depression or why you feel the way you do but I can tell you that you have to build up the strength to keep going. That’s what I’m doing or at least trying to do. So much can change in so little time but Gods plan for us isn’t to stay down forever.

 

“For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.”

Psalms 30:5

 

My joy has not come yet but it will…

 

I thank you all for allowing me to be so vulnerable with you. It isn’t always easy hitting the “Publish” button after pouring my heart out and wiping away tears while writing these posts but hearing some of your comments are why I continue being so open with you all. Like so many other’s out there, just because a person may not always look like they’re going through something, doesn’t mean they aren’t. I know that I said I was tired of hearing about people’s prayers but don’t let that stop you from praying for people. (You just don’t always need to tell them you’re praying for them.) Life happens, and life will always happen but you don’t have to go through it alone. Sometimes people don’t need your advice on what they’re going through, sometimes they just need you to be there and you may not even know it. I want to dedicate this post to my friend Imani. She doesn’t know it but I really needed a physical friend to just be there and she was that friend on Sunday. So thank you so much.

 

I hope this post does you well.

Love, Angelica

Thank u, next: I’m so greatful for my ex.

Every single one of them actually.

I just finished listening to Ariana Grande’s new song and I have to say, I’m very proud of her. I’ve been a fan of hers every since she was on Victorious. There was just something about her voice that amazed me while I sat there watching it with my nieces. She’s been through a lot just like me. From growing up in a broken home, struggling with anxiety, and going in and out of relationships. We have more than I thought we had in common. I on the other hand have never experienced the trauma of being involved in a mass shooting but being in huge crowds of people triggers my anxiety for that specific reason. I’m not saying we deal with the exact same struggles but I sympathize with her a lot. In her song she thanks her ex’s for the lessons each relationship taught her. It taught her how to love herself and learn how to be with herself. So I thought, “Wow, that’s exactly what I’ve been learning.” Relationships in general teach you a lot, about life, about heartache, and about yourself. I think about the ex’s that I was able to forgive and remain friends with but I also think about the ones I left and never wanted to see again. I’m learning to thank those ex’s too. What do I possible have to thank them for? Well, I thank them for realizing that I deserved more than half-love. I deserved someone committed to me and only me. I also thank them for allowing me to fall back in love in with God. To understand that He does and should always come first. To wait on Him and with Him until a man worthy enough of my love comes along. Not to rush love and settle for more pain just to say I have a partner. Love doesn’t hurt nor does it make you sit in your room at night and cry. I spent many nights alone in my room crying and wondering why does love always seem to be so hard. But I rose through it. Relationships should reflect God’s love and not anyone else’s definition of it.

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:3-10‬ ‭MSG‬‬

My prayer is for you, Ariana, and myself to continue falling in love with ourselves. This year I had realize that nobody got me like I got me. Take care of yourself. See a therapist. If something is wrong then try to fix it. Things may be hard right now but you’re going to be alright. God will get you through this just like He got you through everything else. You just have to Let Him.

Bad Girls Rehab: Sober

It’s been a little over a month since I’ve posted anything but I want you to know that my absence was not in vain. I had some things going on that I will get to but right now I want to introduce to you a series that I am starting and will be posting on for the next few weeks. While I was out I had this idea of starting a blog series. Sometimes I get these ideas and even posts that I write and then after I’ve posted it I think to myself, “Man, I should’ve said this, or talked about that…” Well, in this series I’ll try my absolute best not to leave anything out.

Bad Girls Rehab

The concept for this series was of course for me to talk to you women. Yes, women! Sorry guys, this series isn’t meant for you but I won’t stop you from reading it. Bad girls rehab is a title that came in to my mind after reading a devotional a few months ago on sexual sin through the Bible app. But the title came back to me this past week. While I was away I thought about blogging everyday. I even came close to starting something but my fingers just wouldn’t move and I was stuck so I shut my computer and waited for God to speak to me. And He did this past week. Part of the reason why I was out is because I was dealing with this horrendous cavity in my mouth but my anxiety and fear of the dentist was so bad that I refused to go until the pain got so bad it was keeping me from sleep. I wasn’t in the right space mentally to put anything out there. So I sucked up every fear and asked everyone I knew (even my pastor) to pray for my anxiety while I try to make an appointment in order to get back to you guys. But my fears were so bad I couldn’t even look up a dentist! Thankfully one Sunday as I laid in bed hurting I researched emergency dental appoinments, I found one litterally across the street from my apartment. Fast forward to now, the devil is a liar, I conquered my fear and I am one tooth less. The worst part is over and now I can  enjoy ice cream again.

But back to the subject at hand,

I am a bad girl. Or better yet, I was. Not anymore and a full year of celibacy has taught me lot about God and myself. Things I didn’t know I did or even needed. I spent the past seven-ish years in and out of relationships and I’m finally over it. God convinced me last year that enough was enough. It was time to stop looking for Mr. Right and start looking for ME! Who I was and who I wanted to be. I wasn’t even the girl who needed a man to feel complete. I just wanted the attention. Vulunerable moment: I just wanted men to want me. That way I could pick and choose which one I wanted the most. I loved my options. But now, being single and choosing to remain single and celibate has taught me that my validation doesn’t come from men, it comes from God. And yes, we all know this but sometimes it takes us a while to really grasp this concept. I didn’t realize that about myself until I took a step back from social media and had to check myself. Like why? I always jokingly ask myself, “Why am I like this?” But sometimes you have to really try to answer it. Removing myself from social media helped me to avoid being being sucked in to certain comments. I’ve trained my mind to get so far away from the attention that now I sometimes get annoyed when men comment on my pictures because now I know that I’m more than that. There’s more to me Angelica than just a pretty face and curves.

So I am rehabilitating myself and I welcome you ladies to come join me. I’ve never been to an actual rehab but I watch enough TV to know that it is not easy. Yes, saying no is hard, tempatation is hard, feeling lonely and wanting company IS HARD but I can tell you one thing, a night of passion can bring a lifetime of consequences. When you connect with someone sexually you’re not just joining bodies, you’re joining spirits and you do not want to get mixed up with the wrong spirit! I have been there before and it is not good because the wrong spirit can lead you down a dark path. Some people call it being (excuse my language) Dickmitized. Nah sis, that’s that spirit in you that’s making you act up! You shouldn’t have been shacked up with him in the first place but it’s okay, we’ve all been there. Sex feels good but you know what’s even better? A clear mind filled with pure happiness. I don’t live a perfect life but I’d rather come home to enjoy my own company than the company of a man who’s not good for me.

I have more things and topics I’d like to talk about but I’ll wrap this first post up for now. I hope you’ve enjoyed my first installment of the series. I’m aiming to continue to devote my Sunday afternoons with you all over the next few weeks and maybe months if you really enjoy it. Thanks for all of the comments, likes, and views in my absence. I love you all!

Drop some comments, tell me what you think!

-Angie

I spent some time exploring my spiritual pathway and it was nothing less than captivating

This past week I kept hearing these words replay in my head over and over again, “Rivers of living water.” And I thought maybe God is reminding me of when Jesus was talking to the lady at the well. But then I got my daily Bible verse sent to my phone and the scripture said,

 

“Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.” 

John 7:38

 

I thought to myself, “Wow, this is what God wants me to meditate on. I have to be honest, I haven’t exactly been on it with my devotionals and reading this week. So today I thought, let me try another way to spend time with God. Hence, why I decided to take a walk in the park today after church even though it’s been pretty wet and gloomy but I wanted to exercise my spiritual pathway.

Spiritual Pathways are things that you do to find intimacy with God, or to put it another way, how you connect and spend time with God, the things that really move you when you feel the closest to Him. We’ve been talking about this at church and we took a quiz in Bible study and I scored the most when it came to nature. Yes, nature is my spiritual pathway. It may not seem like it, but I do love being outside. Maybe not necessarily rock climbing and hiking mountains but give me a garden and a small gazebo and I am in heaven.

As I walked through the park I thought to myself, why don’t I take some time to just unplug and listen to God. So I took a few pictures and journalled what God was telling me on my walk.

 

He is taking me on a path through the seasons and as this season draws to and end I find myself drawing closer to You.

img_8377

The path may sometimes get dark but that doesn’t mean God isn’t there.

img_8408

Sometimes the path that we want to take (the easy one) is not the one God has us to take. He just may have us take the muddy one, the one that gets us sweaty and dirty, and feel like we can’t go on but God pushes us through.

 

img_8417

And even though we may lose things we care about along the way, there is always beauty throughout the journey

img_8407

At times we find ourselves alone and confused but even when I get lost I always find myself being led back to Him.

img_8422

You may feel like you’re not getting anywhere but never forget how far you’ve come.

img_8426

So in the end when we have been stripped away of all the things we don’t need, the things that were holding us down like people and material things. He brings us back to life.

facetune_16-09-2018-20-38-40

Towards the end of my walk I asked myself, “What are these ‘living waters’ God is telling me that are flowing from my heart?” And I went back to my first thoughts of these words and went to the book of John when Jesus was talking to the Samaritan woman.

 

The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans. She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?” Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”“But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?” Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” “Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.”
I found myself being the lady at the well last year. I was dealing with a lot of guilt and regret and I often questioned myself, who am I that Jesus would think I am so worthy of saving, of love? Even after I made promises to him over and over again that I knew I couldn’t keep. Even now as I look in the mirror and am saddened by the woman I had become, I had been. I had been crippled with anxiety and bouts of depression. I contemplated ending my life. I wanted all of my fears to just go away.
But then I remembered who I was and who’s I was. When I think of how Jesus died on the cross He died for everything I had been going through and everything I had been carrying. I get overwhelmed. Jesus knew the sin that the lady at the well was covered in and yet He showed her grace and mercy. He welcomed her as His and offered her living waters and she thirsted for it. I find myself wanting this living water. To be made afresh and new and even though I may find myself afraid at times and asking God why is He taking me through these paths I stand strong on the faith that God is always there and anything I am taken through is for His glory.

I cried out, “I am slipping!”
    but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me.
When doubts filled my mind,
    your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.

Psalm 94:18-19

Times get hard and people make mistakes. But God said that He will never leave you or forsake you. He is yours and you are His. Trust in His word and meditate in His presence. God will guide you through even the worst of times. If He did it for me, He will do it for you.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.

Psalm 40:2

I hope that you guys were able to take something from this post. I urge you guys to please reach out and check on your friends. You may never know what they may be dealing with.

 

As always love,

Ang

 

R.I.P. Malcolm James McCormick

If you think I included you in this post chances are, I have.

If I could blog about the differences in guys I’ve dated in the past three years it would probably go something like this:

 

1. Michael: My first older man. I met him walking up the steps of a club with my friend. What a great feeling it was to be courted by this man. He was everything I never knew I wanted until now. This is man came in to my life definitely at the wrong time wrong place. I had met him a few months after my engagement broke off. I could tell he wanted more way too soon and I just wasn’t ready. I wasn’t looking at the future back then. I wanted to live in my now which wasn’t a bad thing. I needed my now. I needed to experience all the things I missed out on. I needed to be a 22 year old. He’s moved on now and I assume they’re happy but if I could go back I would. My God I would.

 

2. Jesse: Don’t date musicians. Especially ones that live practically on the other side of the country. If I’m being honest a part of me really wanted to be with him but also a part of me just wanted to get back at my ex. He was always busy working which didn’t entirely bother me. The Bible says, “A man that don’t work don’t eat!” But where did that leave me? It was hard enough that he was in Texas and I was in Virginia. And like all my flames this one was kept hidden from the world. I wish it could’ve worked out but when I think about it there’s just no way it would have. You ever meet someone so stubborn that it’s like how could I ever get what I want out of this relationship? Yeah that’s how a lot of my relationships tend to go.

 

3. Trey: If I could go back in time and remove one guy I’ve dated it would be him. I once heard a phrase that goes something like, “The devil will send you a person and make him look like everything you ever wanted.” When we first met I thought to myself maybe God had finally delivered my godly man? Boy was I wrong. Need I remind you this was the guy that got me to read the book Job with him for a week and then weeks later tell me he doesn’t want to go to church with me because he, “Doesn’t do Sunday morning service.” I don’t think I’ve ever been with someone so toxic in my life. Not only did he have alot of past issues but the results of them were being taken out on me. I had never been with anyone who honestly scared me at times. He never put his hands on me but I could see it happening and that was something that scared me the most. I urge women not to rush in to relationships ESPECIALLY with men who have not worked through their past traumas whether it be from parents, past relationships or what have you. I felt God really tug on my heart strings with this one. We only dated for about two months but when I say God SNATCHED me up out that relationship SO QUICK! He made sure I wouldn’t go back, let alone date anyone like that again.

 

4. Chris: This was the Angel I believe God sent me after the last one. Even though we dated for almost four months and completely ghosted each other after an awkward Valentine’s Day dinner I have no hard feelings towards him. He was a sweetheart but he wasn’t the man I was after spiritually. It may seem kinda harsh but it’s true. I wanted someone to push me to be a better woman of God and I also knew that we were just on two completely different paths at the moment. He’s still an amazing person and I don’t think he fully realizes that. God is going to bless him with an amazing woman one day.

 

5. *Joseph: My honorable mention who I actually didn’t date but I will tell you about anyway. This was a guy who I had the BIGGEST crush on for a few months after Jesse and I’m not even one to have crushes but this guy really had me sucked in and didn’t even know it. He was just so intelligent, and cute, and cultured, girl he even spoke French and ugh I could go on! However,  homeboy was not feeling me AT ALL! So yes, even I Angelica have dealt with rejection in some way. Okay maybe he didn’t exactly reject me but he didn’t pursue me either even though I wanted him to. Anyways, God really humbled me with that one but it did teach me that if it was meant to be it would be and if it doesn’t happen then God just has something else for you.

 

I hope you guys are able to analyze the people you’ve dated over the past few years if you’re still single like me. What would you have done differently? What would you not have done at all? I also hope that this teaches you to not settle and to realize that some people just aren’t worth the effort especially if it puts your own mental and physical well being at risk. We’ve all made mistakes, and we all have that one that got away (I have a few but maybe that’ll be a post for another day perhaps?) Anyways, thanks for bringing in September with me. Remember to like, comment, and share!

 

P.s. You didn’t think I was going to use real names did you?

wink.gif

Single at 25

I talk about my being single a lot not because it’s my first choice when writing but because I just feel like it’s what God tells me to write about. I’ve also heard from a lot of women who have read my blog and told me how much they enjoy the posts as well.

When it comes to my life at this point I may not be as financially stable as I want to be or eat as healthy as I should (I am literally eating fries in a Wendy’s parking lot at 10pm while I write this on my phone) but I’m happy.

So as I look back on my life 10 years from now I want to tell people that yes I was single at 25 but I was happy. My life may not be exactly where I want it but everything is where it needs to be.

 

Choose happiness.

 

Maybe that guy that you wish was yours is not the one for you. Don’t waste your life away trying to force it. Life is too short to be worried about men. A lot times we look for relationships just to seek validation from other people. Our validation comes from God and God alone not people. How many couples have gotten together, even married just for the title or to say they have someone only to end up broken-hearted in the end. If I’m being honest, I dated my ex because he seemed “safe” and I knew that I could secure a marriage with him but when our engagement failed it let me know that no matter how much we may want something if that’s not what God has planned for us then it’s not going to happen. And it’s going to hurt when you realize it but if you could avoid the hurt by simply not getting involved then why don’t you? Many times we enter relationships knowing it’s not what God wants for us but we do it anyway.

And brokenness is not a bad thing. It teaches us and makes us stronger but God doesn’t want to see us going through the same situations over and over again.

 

Singleness is not a burden it’s a resource.

 

I know that I said in my last post I was going to take the rest of the month off but when God speaks you gotta move. Also August is practically over now and much of this post was about things I just needed to hear again myself. I’m just as messed up as the next woman but I’m a happy mess.

img_8268

As always; like, comment and share!

– Angelica

Three years later: So a girl walks in to a bar…

I’ve been thinking about whether or not I’d want to write a blog post for this month and I guess since I’m alone sitting at a bar on my second glass of wine. Why not?

It’s not that I didn’t want to put anything out this month. I just wasn’t clear on what I’d want to say. But today as I was walking downtown I thought about something that’s been going through my mind a lot lately…

I’m grown.

Meaning I can do what I want. (As long as I keep it holy of course.!)

But I mean honestly, as black people our definition of being “grown” is pretty much paying your own bills, having your own place, and your own car. Which I do. Granted my bills my don’t always get paid on time but them things get paid!

As I was saying, I’m grown. Technically.

The other day my mom casually slipped in over the phone: “Yeah so when are you gonna find a man?” And I said, “Guuuurl it’s slim pickings round here!” Which is very true. I’ve been single for going on 3 years now. 3 whole years since the guy I was engaged to left me for another girl. What’s amazing is that hurt that I was left with stung and made me so angry. I wasn’t sad but I was upset more than anything. One of the songs that was sung at church today was “You are my Healer” and I thought how convenient? Sometimes we go through a pain that at the time we think we could never get through but with the right prayers and with time we can get through it all. God is our healer and He prepares a way for us in the presence of our enemies. When we broke up I stayed in the same city as him. I was afraid I’d run in to him or his new gf. But I had to learn not to be afraid. I made myself better. I worked hard and without going through what I went through I wouldn’t be where I am today.

God is just so amazing y’all!

I’ve been full time at a job that I absolutely love working in ministry with some amazing people and although I haven’t met the right person yet I know God is going to deliver when the time is right. Until then he’s got me in an amazing church surrounded by some great people. I honestly have nothing to complain about and even though I still have times where I ask God “Do you even have a man for me?” I remember that all of that isn’t even important. What’s important is that I’m happy, I’m healthy, and I’m LIVING!

If you ever stop and wonder if your life is really going somewhere just remember that God is taking you places that you can’t even imagine if you just keep your faith in Him. Run the race and know that God has you. Not the universe, but the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE! Yes, our god who created the stars in the sky to the tiny shrimps in the sea saw it fit to create a person like you in all His glory and splendor! Now I’m not trying to sound too Sunday schoolish but it’s true! I would not have been able to get through all the hurt I’ve been through if it wasn’t for my Lord and Savior.

So I leave you with this, if you’re reading this post right now get to know Jesus. And I’m not talking about that number 45, two Corinthians, textbook, white jesus. I’m talking about the brown skinned, Jewish, fishers of the sea, woman at the well associating Jesus.

Now this is my one and only post for the month August. As always I want my content to be genuine and honestly I don’t have anything else to say. So I’ll see y’all in September. And keep sending your questions and comments. Also I haven’t forgotten about my people who’ve given me suggestions for content. I got y’all!

Don’t forget to like, comment and share! Love,

Angelica💕

Put the grocery list away sis

So I’ve heard stories of many Christian women who created lists of their “dream man” and some who believe that they even received one from God. I however, have never felt led to create a list and the thought of doing it made me think that I was wasting my time. BUT the other day I made one out of blue. I put all these things on the list, some realistic and some not so much. Some silly and some so not so suitable for children (I’m human.) Anyways, after I wrote it I put it away and decided that it was done and that I can now say that I made a list. Did I think that it would come true one day? Not really. But I did get some clarity about it while watching a YouTube video a few days after. I started watching this video about a young woman talking about how she made a list of all the things she wanted in a man and eventually got a chance to go out on a date with her “dream man” only to realize that after prayer and discernment, her list of qualities in a man that she thought she wanted was not the man that God wanted her to be with. It made me think back to my list and at that moment I had to ask God not to send me the man that I wanted but to send the man I needed, more importantly the man that He saved specifically for me with the qualities He designed especially to fit me.

 

Maha Maven is the young woman who’s videos I started watching and she makes some really good points. I decided that I would take some of her points and combine them with some of my own that I came up with when it comes to dating as a Christian woman.

 

  1. Stop thinking that every guy you meet may be your husband. This certainly has affected me when it came to dating last year. I would meet a guy and always think, “Well maybe this is my husband?” But it wasn’t. It can become a big distraction and prevent you from keeping your focus on more important things. Like God.
  2. Stay away from toxic men. Don’t even entertain it. You know who these men are so I shouldn’t even have to tell you. But I do have to tell myself at times. Yes, this includes that guy that you know you shouldn’t get involved with but you do anyway because you get lonely and he makes you feel good, wanted, desired. Stop. Just. Stop. It also includes guys who are interested in you but put zero effort into courting you. It seems as if some men expect you to just take whatever bone they throw. Keep in mind that you are not desperate, just because a man shows an interest in you does not mean that you have to entertain it especially if you know this is a man that you should not be getting involved with. If a bit of your gut is telling you that this may not be a good idea then chances are it’s actually the Holy Spirit telling you to flee the situation. 
  3. Obedience is your responsibility. Outcome is God’s. This is a quote from Pastor Steven Furtick that was mentioned in the video. Obedience is not about holding out for sex and remaining abstinent just so God can send you a man. It’s about chasing after God and growing in your purpose so that you live your life happily whether your in a relationship or not.
  4. Singleness is not a burden. You don’t “deal with it” you thrive in it. I truly believe that I saved the best for last. Being single is your chance to accomplish so many amazing things that you can’t always do while you’re in a relationship. Especially when you’re in your twenties. You can switch jobs and move across the country if you wanted to, you could go back to school, you could even start a business. Take this opportunity to not only grow spiritually but grow as a person while taking care of yourself. Get active, visit places you’ve never been before, and most importantly HAVE FUN!

 

 

Here’s a link to the video I watched the other day. I hope you guys click on it and check out some of her other videos too. Thanks for reading and remember to like, comment, and share!

 

I lie in the dust; revive me by your word

If I could be honest for a moment, sometimes I take for granted God’s word. Here I am with about three Bibles in my house plus the app on my phone and yet I’ll still go days without opening one of them up and reading it. Today I read a story in my devotional about a young boy in China who wanted a Bible so badly. He fasted and prayed and even weeped longing for a Bible until God blessed him with one and here I am with one in constant access to me. Well I know that the Word holds truth and wisdom and love but why do I still so often take it for granted? It’s kind of like exercising (which I can admit that I absolutely hate.) Don’t get me wrong, working out is great and I believe everyone should do it myself included but it’s just not my thing even though I know I should. But when I do push my myself to work out I feel so good after, like I really accomplished something that I know is good for me. Sometimes I just dance alone in my room, that counts right?

Well exercising is similar to me reading my Bible, once I finish I’m just like, “Wow, I really needed that. This book is so perfectly written why don’t I do this more often?” I think one of the reasons why I don’t is because I doubt myself and the enemy will tell me, “You won’t be able to understand this or be able to retain this information for future use.” But that’s not true, I have to speak to the devil and tell him, “Yes, yes I can read this and apply it to my life. You’ll see!”

One of the things I’m learning to do is to just get up and do the work especially when it comes to my walk with God and I definitely can’t let the devil fill my mind with doubt. We as Christians can’t stay stagnant when God wants us to constantly grow and evolve as believers.

Make the time to read your Bible. It’s some pretty amazing stuff in there.

30 I have chosen to be faithful;
    I have determined to live by your regulations.
31 I cling to your laws.
    Lord, don’t let me be put to shame!
32 I will pursue your commands,
    for you expand my understanding.

Psalm 119:30-32