An incomplete list of things men do (and say) that bother me.
*Subject to change
1. They don’t listen when you MAKE IT VERY CLEAR that you’re uninterested in them.
If I’m clearly not responding to your messages then STOP sending them.
2. “I can’t be with a woman who’s slept with a lot of men.”
I have never asked a man how many women he’s been with. Mostly because men lie too much and for one, it’s none of my business and two, why does it matter? The only thing we should be concerned with is have you been tested and how often? Even if you’re celibate, we still need to know especially since black men are least likely to get routine health exams which puts black women at a greater risk of contracting STI’s and HIV. While working in healthcare at a place that does rapid HIV testing it’s heartbreaking and unfortunate that we have these diseases but they are a very real thing that people really go through. I think that should be people’s biggest concern and not “Oh I don’t wanna be with somebody that’s been with everybody.” Because we should be forgiving and show people grace. How one sided is it that men can go through their early 20s being with multiple women and then once they are at a stage in their life where they are ready to settle down, can decide that they only want to be with a woman who has not had multiple sexual encounters and it be okay?
3. Don’t assume that we are all the same.
If he’s ever began a sentence with “FEmaLeS…” leave him alone sis. His opinion doesn’t matter. I have also noticed that many men who talk like this have been hurt. Leave these men alone. Hurt men are highly toxic and it is not your job to prove to him that not all women are like the one or two that he had a bad experience with. Have him seek a mental health professional for that type of assistance.
4. These men out here really want you to chase them. Like what? WHO!? CHASE WHO!?
First of all, I’m too awkward in person and secondly, I just can’t do it. If a man is waiting for me to approach him romantically then he just gonna be waiting forever. There was that one time I did walk up to a guy at a party and Henessy was involved but now see that is exactly why I don’t drink Henny.
5. Ain’t not nobody got time to go through Hell and back for you. I’m grown.
This should speak for itself. I’m the worst when it comes to my friends telling me their relationship woes. My first response is always, “Leave him.”
6. Men who smoke.
Like really, eww.
I’m sure there’s something I’ve missed or something I just haven’t encountered yet. Maybe I’ll make a part two in the future. Who knows. At this point I’m just here to continue stirring the pot a little. Women don’t really get to express their voices much so I’m glad I have my own space where I can express mine especially since I’m more of an observer than a speaker anyway.
Until next time. Don’t forget to like, comment, and share. Let me know if there’s anything I missed or for the men, what are some things women do that bother you? (Not that I care.) I’m just interested in knowing.