When God reminds you that He is God

It happens to us all. Sometimes in big moments and sometimes in smaller ones. For me, he had to show me in the bigger ones last year.

 

So even though 2017 was just a few days ago I wanted to talk about how He had to remind me that He is God during the last few months of the year.

 

(This is going to be one of my more personal posts btw..)

 

So towards the end of the year I started dating this guy and in the begining I struggled with trying to decipher if this was the guy that God wanted me to be with. Turns out that it wasn’t but the way He had to reveal that to me was through a series of events that led me to realize that I needed to fast for the whole month of January.

 

Let’s start with October of 2017. I wake up in the morning and as i’m on my way to work I get into a car accident and end up rear ending the lady in front of me. My is car is nearly  totalled but somehow still driveable. I have hardly any money to get it fixed let alone purchase a new car, so I have no choice but to continue driving this car when my dad is unable to take and pick me up from work. A week later, on a day when I chose to drive my car to work, I get a phone call around 8:45 in the morning from who I thought was my mom. It wasn’t. It was her neighbor using my moms phone to tell me that my mother has just had a seizure and is on her way in an ambulance to the hospital. The only thing I could think of was, “God please don’t take my mom. Not right now.” As i’m on my way to the hospital i’m calling my sister telling her to meet me there. She’s hysterical. I’m trying to hold it together for the both of us. It’s just all a mess. We get there, my mom hasn’t got in yet, when she finally does she’s in and out of sleep. We’re all trying to figure out why and how she had a seizure when she’s never had one before.

 

A few days after, my mom’s still in the hopsital. We find out she has a hole in her brain and it’s leaking cerebral fluid. She needs brain surgery to fix the hole and back surgery to drain the fluid. So during this time, I’m back and forth from my sister’s house, work, the hospital, and home. All while driving a busted vehicle.  God, really showed me some humility with that one.

 

A few weeks go by, my mom has her surgeries and they all go well. Thank God. But it was so hard to see my mom in a hopsital not just alone but with machines and tubes in her so helpless. One of the things I thought of was when Jesus washed the disciples feet. All of them, even the ones who He knew would betray Him. I never really had the greatest relationship with my mom especially after she left me and my dad. But now, she needed me and I had to be there. God wasn’t only showing me that I needed to be there for my mom but He was showing her that she needed get her life together because He has the power to take it all away.

 

We get to December, my mom’s out of the hospital and doing better but I wasn’t.

 

This is when God had to show me that He is God and that I can’t continue to live my life like He wasn’t the one in charge. 2017 wasn’t a bad year for me but there were times when I made mistakes and told God “oh i’m not gonna do this anymore” or “this will be my last time doing this” but I still did it anyway after I made promises to Him that I’d stop. We can not play with God like that and because I did that God had to smack me back in place in the form of my own health concerns to make me realize “Okay God, I get it now. I will definitely stop now.”

 

I understand God’s movements and I never once hated or blamed God for going through issues that I brought on myself from my own selfish habits. This is what discipline is supposed to do. It’s supposed to keep us from making the same mistake over and over again.

 

So here we are in January, I’ve been fasting from social media since the 1st but I broke my fast this weekend for my niece’s birthday and because I knew it was time for me to open up about my own 2017 experiences. Even though I encountered some hardships, I also encountered some major blessings. I started a new full time job that I love. I was able to buy a new car that I absolutely adore. My skin is still clearing up, I mean we good over here! LOL

 

But on a more serious note, I have been talking to God about what I want to aim for and accomplish this year. I’m not one for resolutions but I do believe in progress. I’ve accomplished things that I never thought I’d be able to accomplish last year and so this year I want to do even more. Let’s see what else I can pursue and produce. (I’m speaking in terms of fruits and not babies!) I also feel as though God is telling me to be patient while He works. I really do want to put my full trust in Him because I want to be the woman that I’ve always dreamed of becoming because I know that I am not perfect. I mean, how can I be a woman that wants to speak life and wisdom in to other women when I’m not living right myself? But at the end of the day I am just as broken as the next woman. I stumble, I fall, I’m still gonna make some mistakes, but I don’t want to continue to make the same mistakes. Do you ever just get overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord. Like even though we hurt God, lie to him, go back on promises, and just be all out DUMB, He still loves us. He still nailed ALL of our sins on the cross and we don’t deserve it. Which leads me to my other “resolution” or “progression” I want to go even further in the ways I talk about God. I want to really try to reach other people and have them know  that this girl really loves the Lord with all of her heart. Because I honestly do, and if it had take me going through everything in 2017 to get here then I know that it was worth it. God tells us that if we only knew, if we only KNEW the prize he has for us! And that’s what I want. If I have to be single for the next 10 years of my life waiting on the man God does have for me then bring it on!

 

Plus y’all already know how I feel about men now so it’s nothing I can’t do 🙂

 

 

Nonetheless, let’s not blame God for our own decisions and what He takes us through. One of my favorite scriptures comes from 2 Corinthians. Paul says,

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

 

It’s in those difficult times that we’re at our strongest because that’s when our faith increases and we have no other choice BUT to trust God. We have the power to move mountains with our faith so I thank God for showing His love for me in sufferings and I gladly take His discipline because it just means that I’m growing in Christ.

 

If you’ve made any resolutions this year then I hope that you stick with them, but my prayer is that you also progress this year. Aim to be a better person, do better, and make wiser decisions. Listen to God when He’s telling you no and when He’s telling you yes. But also when He’s telling you to just wait and be patient.

 

Love always,

Angie

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The Liebster

So the other day I was at work bored (don’t tell anyone) and I was scrolling through WordPress reading some blogs that I follow and saw that I was mentioned in one of my friends blogs and she nominated me for this award as a way to inform other readers of blogs that they’ve enjoyed reading.

 

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting mbmdotlife at church last year through one of my good friends from my old church. We even ended up in the same small group, which was amazing by the way. Anyways, you guys should check out her blog. It’s full of faith, fashion, and lots of other good stuff (Like a recipe for crockpot apple cider that looks delish!) I can assure you that you’ll love it.

 

Well here we go, here are 10 random facts about me:

 

  1. I am left-handed
  2. My favorite season is Spring. I have terrible seasonal allergies sometimes but I love the cool air and flowers in bloom.
  3. I am bi-racial. My mother is black and my father is Mexican. 
  4. I guess you can say i’m pretty tall. I’ve been 5’7 and a half since the 7th grade and that was interesting. 
  5. I love changing my hairstyle. I feel like it’s my way of expressing myself.
  6. I’m pretty quiet around people. Actually I am very quiet around people. I didn’t start really being social and having friends until college lol 
  7. I LOVE sweets. Cookies, cakes, ice cream and chocolate. Especially DARK CHOCOLATE. Omg. 
  8. I am a catlady. Her name is Luna and she’s my pride and joy. 
  9. I have four tattoos: FAITH, LOVE, Si se Puede, and a feather. Gonna get my half sleeve one day…
  10. I work as a pharmacy tech in a free clinic for individuals who are below poverty and can’t afford insurance.

 

And here are my other questions from mbmdotlife

 

1. What inspired you to create your blog?

I created this blog after a pretty tough breakup as a way to express my feelings and emotions at the time. I also wanted to reach out to other women who went through similar situations.

2. What are 3 of your goals for this year?

My three goals for this year would be to: Start back taking some classes this year. Dig deeper into the Word and read more books. Also, to take a vacation sometime this summer because I could use one. 

3. What do you feel your purpose is?

I feel like my purpose is to serve women. I have always had a heart for women. I remember I was dating this guy in college and he asked me what I wanted to do in the future and I told him that I wanted to start a non profit to help young women find jobs and do better in school and he told me that it was unfair that I wanted to cater to only women and not young men as well. What an ass, right? 

4. What’s your favorite restaurant?

As much as I should say Mi Hacienda because I go there at least once a month. I think that Panchito’s comes in a close second. They’re both mexican restaurants of course.

5. What is your favorite place that you’ve traveled to?

Texas. I loved it. It was everything I have ever imagined.

6. Whats your favorite store?

The beauty supply store. Guuurl, I can blow some stacks up in there!! They have everything my little heart desires. Hair, makeup, more hair!

7. Which season do you like best?

Spring! I really like being outside and I love the fresh flowers like I said earlier. Flowers make me happy. 

8. Whats your dream job?

My dream job would be to work for a museum as an art collector, although I think I’d be happy as a party planner as well. 

9. What do you feel like your biggest obstacle has been in life, How did you get over it?

I think that one of my biggest obstacles has been not finishing college but as I was studying to get my pharm tech license, I worked some jobs I didn’t like, sometimes taking two jobs at a time to pay for my bills and gained the experience I needed to get to where I am and I did it. I have a job that I love with benefits and I couldn’t be more thankful.

10. What are you interested in that most people aren’t?

I like bad movies. Well maybe not “bad” but I like those low budget films that come on tv or netflix that hardly anyone has seen. Especially the black television films. They’re not that bad and have so much potential, well they did. 

 

So I hope you guys enjoyed my post of yet even more things about me. Now it’s my turn to nominate two other bloggers to post their own versions of what I did. So I am nominating…

TheThird7even

TheIntricateWorldofNicole

I have enjoyed these ladies blogs since I started following them and I am not just saying that because I know them personally! But because I have read and been able to relate and I know that you guys will too!

My questions for you are:

  1. What sparked your faith?
  2. Who inspires you?
  3. What do you like to do that cheers you up when you’re feeling down?
  4. Where is someplace you’ve always wanted to go?
  5. What is your favorite item of clothing?
  6. What do you hope readers get to take from your blogs?
  7. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
  8. What is your favorite animal?
  9. When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?
  10. What music do you like to listen to?

 

And if you want further explanation for this game here you go!

The Liebster Award is:

An award that exists only on the internet and is given to bloggers by other bloggers, whose work they find interesting, to motivate them and promote them as well. The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

The Official Rules of the Liebster Award 2017:

Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.

Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.)
Write a 150-300 word post about your favorite blog that is not your own. Explain why you like the blog, provide links.

Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (This year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)
Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 200 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)

List these rules in your post. Once you have written and published it, you then have to: Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post or mine if you don’t have all the information so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it)!

Don’t forget to create 10 questions for them to answer. Notify your nominees and provide a link to your post so that they’ll know what to do. Once you’re done, come back here and comment with the link to your post so others (and me) can check out your answers!

 

 

 

 

 

Symphony of Illumination

I have decided to do something I’ve never done before. When I started my blog I was hesitant about posting my writing but now I’ve decided to post just a few short pieces of my poetry writings.

I hope you enjoy.

 

 

I fell in love with my solitude

And I rose with the wind

Into my writing

Through my words

And directly and intently in front of you.

 

 

 

 

What would you say if I told you that he hurt me more than you?

I didn’t think that I could experience a pain like this.

Again.

I live with a constant dagger in my heart.

I love with a constant dagger in my heart.

What would you say if I told you I spent more nights in bed crying our first month together, than our first year?

 

You think love can’t get any harder, it does.

 

 

 

I sought to wait for you

To take hold of the moment when He brought you to me

I didn’t realized you were here all along

I look for you in the clouds My inspiration comes from above

The Life of a Hopeless lover

 

 

And who knows, maybe one day I’ll allow myself to fall in love with him but until then I must continue to live my life loving me for who I am.

 

 

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this and as always, thanks for reading!

Do you

Sometimes I sit in my room and think to myself, “Wow, there’s people in this world that genuinely do not like me.” But then I realize that for every person that doesn’t like me, there’s like 10 people who adore me!

But this isn’t some vain post about all the people I’m cool with or how many friends I have.

This post is about how sometimes you’ll come across people who don’t or just stop liking you. And that’s okay. Who knows why these people stopped liking me; and I’m not talking about just ex best friends, there’s ex boyfriends that really despise me too but I’ve realized that I can not reverse who I am as a person. I am strong, I am opinionated, and I tell people the honest truth without sugar coating things. For example, if you’re dating a sh*tty guy, I am going to tell you that he’s a sh* tty guy and that you deserve better because I want what’s best for you. I’ve realized that some women just aren’t strong enough to simply walk away from bad relationships like I am and that’s okay.

(Actually it’s not okay. Know your worth child!)

As for ex boyfriends, I know that I am not perfect but I also want what’s best for me. No I haven’t always made the best relationship decisions, but I have always had the strength to walk away from each one when it became more than I could handle. It was when I realized that my sad/miserable days outweighed my happy/content days within my relationship. In the most humble way possible I tell myself that I deserve the best because I believe that I myself am the best and I am worthy of a healthy and God driven love. If I am not receiving what I want out of a relationship then it’s time for me to leave. But for some reason, some of my ex’s believe that this was “asking for too much” or me being “spoiled” so they dislike me because I decided to walk away from them without continuing to put up with their mess.

Well yes. I am spoiled. I was spoiled by a man that loves me unconditionally and worked hard to provide for me and show me what a real man is like.

Thank you daddy.

But anyways, I say all of that to say this; there will be people that come around and will genuinely not like you and there isn’t anything you can do about it but to accept it. People come into your life for reasons and it teaches you something about them. That people are not perfect. We all have flaws and insecurities and oftentimes these people will try to break YOUR spirit and take it out on YOU. But you need not to worry about these people. Block them, move on with your life, and enjoy the peace God gives you when you realize that you don’t even need these people in your life. Think about the people that do like you and think your amazing and a joy to be around. These are the people that matter.

betterkanye

Update* I forgot to mention go follow the new Instagram: @alliamisyoursblog

I love love

I do, honestly. I love seeing people happy in love. I would even love to see myself happy and in love one day. Getting married and perhaps having a baby or two. Love is a beautiful thing.

 

But my life. Oh my life.

 

I dream of the day a man worthy enough comes in to my life and truly makes me happy. But we all do no matter what we’ve been through.

 

One of my favorite things to do is to sit in my room with a glass of wine and listen to love songs all night while imagining I’m out with a man who adores me and wants to be with me. I see myself being a housewife some day cooking thanksgiving dinner and throwing lavish parties with glass plates and tableware. My husband and I go golfing on Saturday mornings and then come home to take the kids out after. We go to church on Sundays and hold hands as we pray.

 

I realize this is a little contradicting to my previous post but a girl can still dream right?

Just some thoughts

I’m not anti marriage/relationship

I’m anti unhappy marriage/relationship

This doesn’t mean that I don’t want to get married some day. I’d love to get married one day but I’m not going to marry some one just for the title or attention. I’m also not going to marry someone who makes me unhappy.

I know that relationships can be tough and rocky but I believe that there are some things you should be able to work out and some things that are red flags that you should turn away from.

As for me there are things that I simply refuse to put up with. I have noticed that by now I have dated my share of guys. Men love to fall in love with me but they don’t stay with me. It’s not my fault. At least I don’t think it is. In my opinion I believe that I deserve to be loved in a certain way and if a man can not love me in that way then I can not be with him.

I would like a man’s love for me to be open and honest and when we have a disagreement I want to come together to figure out a solution so that it doesn’t happen again. I feel like many young men do not understand this concept. Young men can be very selfish. They want to be seen as “leaders” yet they have no idea what it’s like to actually lead a person. They want women to just say yes to every proposition they make without giving us anything in return. Men love to take but they don’t know how to give back. They think that material things are what women want and need but not it’s not. We want emotional security more than anything.

At least I do.

Yes I like nice things. But I also like nice men. Men who listen to me and consider what I’m saying and asking for out of a relationship.

But men like to be difficult as always and I refuse to settle for just any relationship. I know there’s going to be hard times but if I can’t trust you to be there for me to get through those hard times then I can’t be with you.

Anyways, this was just another random single black female post. Continue on with your Sunday…

Questions?

1:40am

Sometimes I feel like I give too much of myself away too easily. It’s like I constantly hand out love without expecting any love in return. It’s been quite an issue of mine over the past few years. Lately it feels like people are constantly taking and taking and taking from me. Not that I mind giving anything away if I have it but it’s causing me to feel drained. As if the life is being sucked away from me and I have little to nothing left. 

Even then somehow I still manage to muster up a corner of what’s left of me to give to the next person. 

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Sometimes that’s all I want in return.

Rest. 

Love that will not let me go

As single Christians I have noticed that there is such a huge emphasis on finding the right person that it often becomes a bigger priority than our walk with Christ. We always hear about establishing a relationship with Christ and then He will send us the person we are meant to be with.

 

But what if you aren’t meant to be with anyone? What if God is calling you to be like Paul? Work for Him spreading the Good News and being single the rest of your life? Will you follow His calling?

 

I wanted to ask this question because in my first year of singleness I felt like there were too many people pushing me to find someone to be with. Of course with me being the person that I am, I wasn’t going to settle for just anyone. But it made me think about other women and men who fall into the trap of spending the rest of your life worrying about if this is the day your soulmate will walk in your life. Maybe you’ve imagined yourself walking into a coffee shop and you’ll look over and God will whisper in to your ear saying, “That’s the one.” We get so caught up trying to date and meet people that we lose our focus from God. Yes, finding our significant other is something we all want but what if God is not calling you to be with anyone? Yes, majority of us will fall in love and get married (God doesn’t really call that many people to stay single for the rest of their lives) but I asked the question about Paul earlier because I had to accept the fact that if God didn’t have anyone for me then I would still be happy.

 

If you truly believe that Jesus is enough for you and that He is your rock and Salvation then why do you feel the need to have anyone else?

 

During my second year of singleness I had come to the realization that if God wanted me to spend the rest of my life doing something I absolutely love and spreading the love and Word of Christ, then I didn’t need a man and I would still be happy.

 

So light a fire in my heart and I’ll burn for You. 

 

I believe that if we truly put our focus on God and living for Him then of course He will give us the desires of our heart. People would tell me all the time, “God will send you your man when you’re least expecting it.” So I took that time of “least expecting” and challenged myself to really strive after Christ and push myself to really live for Him and to love others.

 

So I started this blog. I wanted to help other women (and now men) on their journey through singleness. But it has also really helped me from removing a growing need for companionship into an evergrowing need for Christ.

 

My vision for writing this post was not to convince people to stop dating or to bash my friends for trying to get me to talk to guys. It is to challenge any single Christians reading this to make sure that your want for marriage does not hold a bigger place in your heart than your relationship with Christ.

 

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.”

‭‭John‬ ‭15:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 
Like always, thanks for reading and remember to comment, like and share! Also continue sending me your questions/concerns here!

 

Listen to Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go by Ascend the Hill

 

Transparency post and slight rant. Thoughts at 2:46am

I love social media. I love watching and sharing funny videos and memes with all my friends. I love being able to share my struggles and my accomplishments on my Facebook page because I know that the people I accept in that part of my life just surround me with so much love. 

However, recently it’s come to my attention that that is not always the case. Most of my pages are private and often times I choose not to accept requests from certain people because I simply don’t want them knowing the information I put out there about me. But lately I’ve had to pull back from the things I post on social media because there are people who I’ve given access to follow/friend me on my pages and they’ve taken it upon themselves to spread MY personal life to people that I would have preferred not to know where I work or where I hang out and who for that matter and yes it’s upsetting. 

But it’s also rewarding that some people live such boring lives that they look to my life for excitement. Yes, me, this awkward flat chested tall girl with acne who didn’t talk to anyone throughout elementary, middle and high school has grown up to be the topic of discussion in some people’s mouths. 

Thank you. 

End rant.

Why do guys take so long to ask a girl out on a date? 

Yes, here I go again.

 

I feel like I’ve touched on this topic before but once again it’s popped up in to my mind yet again and I am sitting here wondering why are guys so afraid? I get it, rejection is hard but if the girl is clearly in to you then why are you taking so long?

 

Are you like me? Do guys sometimes message you, send you subtle flirty texts, tell you how you guys should, “hang out” but never really follow through. Well, this post is for you and I am here to tell you to LEAVE THESE GUYS ALONE.

 

Sis, stop wasting your time. If a guy was REALLY interested in you then he would have already taken iniative to ask you out on a clear date. I am telling you all of this because this was me. I would feed in to the cute messages guys would send me about hanging out with the hopes that maybe it would turn in to an actual date but it never happened. Guys love attention just as much as we do and getting it from a cute girl just boosts their ego even more. Now if you’re just looking for a good time then go right ahead, text these guys. But if you’re like me and are tired of young men wasting your precious time then move on. Keep it at a strictly friendship level because as soon as you guys start hanging out he’ll start complaing about how he’s in the “frienzone.” Well, because you put yourself there my guy.

 

But I digress.

 

What you don’t want to do is become emotionally invested in a guy that’s not taking the time to pursue you the way you deserve. Men go after what they want and if he truly wanted you then he would tell you straight up that he’s interested in getting to know you on more than a friendship level.

 

Now in the mean time, prepare yourself for when a guy finally does step to you like a real man and asks you out.

 

But I’ll save that part for another post though…

Girl-Got-To-Have-Standards-Black-And-White-Single-Online-Dating-Gif-1

 

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