***Disclaimer: If you’re wondering if this post is about you, then it probably is.***
So as most of you know by now, I’m not the greatest at relationships and I don’t know if it’s me or just the men I choose to be with but this has got to stop.
Let’s get personal…
I’m not a virgin and that was a personal choice but it’s taken me 4 failed relationships to realize that I gotta stop giving in to these boys who promise me the world but end up giving me misery instead. Now I’m not you’re average girl from RVA. Meaning I’ve been smart about whom I chose to have sex with AND make sure I’m protected because I’m not about to just have anyone’s baby. And that’s mostly because that’s who most of my friends have become. I don’t understand it. How can a woman choose to have a child by a man that does not support her AND the child. Now I’m in no way saying that she shouldn’t of had the child but WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM THOUGH? And then you choose to have another baby by this boy?
But back to me
I have come to the conclusion that I’m not getting anywhere like this. I’m not saying I’m giving up on love but I need more. I need stability and commitment and all that other stuff females want but boys my age just want sex. And lately that’s been most guys I’ve dated. I’m tired of these boys coming into my life claiming to be godly for show but you still ask me for sex?
I’ve asked God to send me a nice young pastor or a guy who just genuinely loves the Lord. I keep getting wolves in sheeps clothing instead. (Or guys I just can’t vibe with but I’m working on that post.)
Now I won’t call it celibacy because that’ll just jinx it but I do believe in really waiting for a man to come into a woman’s life and really proving to her why SHE should be with him and not the other way around. We let these men get away with way too much. I’m all for women being open with their sexuality but if marriage is what you ultimately want then you have to stop giving these fuckboys marriage benefits with out the actual marriage. I have heard this same message over and over again but sometimes it takes more than one heartache for it to really resonate with a person.
So to all of my strong women out there; take care of yourselves. Stop letting men use you and then leave you. You deserve more than that. You deserve a man that will truly love you, cherish you, treat you like and actual queen and not just say that to make you travel miles away to just buy you gifts and sleep with him. You’re a queen without the king and you deserve to be happy. You might get lonely but lonely and content is a million times better than being miserable and with someone who doesn’t value you just so you won’t be alone. You are all you need and if you believe in God then you always have him too.