Last Cigarette 

Have you ever been that person that your friends come to for advice sometimes? And then after you think wow my friends are so lucky to have me because that would totally be what I would have done if I was in that situation. But then only to find yourself in that EXACT position and NOT do what you said you’d do? What I’m trying to say is, things are easier said than done. 

Sometimes we find ourselves in positions that we promised we would not put ourselves in again and yet, here we are. But I will admit to my mistakes, I know that I am not perfect and I fail God every day but I am trying. Sometimes it takes one last mistake to truly get your mind focused on what’s right. But it’s hard. They’ll be setbacks, withdrawals, pressure and many times we give in to it. 

“Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.””

‭‭Mark‬ ‭14:38 NLT

Now I don’t smoke but my mom did. Marlboro lights 100s. Towards the end of last year my aunt came out and told us that she had COPD as well a few other health issues. My mom took it really hard so she quit smoking. Just like that, cold turkey. And I knew how difficult it was for her especially when my aunt passed away a few months ago. But my mom didn’t give up. She’s still cigarette free for about 7 months now and I’m proud of her. 

Temptation is hard. We all give in to it sometimes but try not to be so hard on yourselves when you do. Instead pray about it and ask God to remove what ever desire it is that is tempting you whether it be a cigarette, a drink, or a person. Things will eventually get easier to resist but it depends on your willingness to trust in Him. 

Daddy’s girl.

I had originally planned to write and have this post ready on actual Father’s Day but like I do every Sunday, I came home from church, ate, and took a long and much needed nap. Then I woke up and got distracted by Twitter and TV.

 

 

But anyways…

 

 

My father. There are so many things I can say about him, many of which people already know. He’s this strong, hard working, faithful man of God that many people see and what I see as well. It’s amazing to me how many people come up to me in church and say, “oh Arturo is your dad? We love him so much!” Yes, my dad loves serving, and seeing him active in church has given me a love for it as well. Now I probably don’t have a wake up at 7am on a Saturday morning love of serving like he does but i’m getting there.

 

 

Since I started blogging I’ve been pretty forward about my upbringing. But to catch some of you guys up here it is; My parents got married a year and a half after I was born and they separated just days before my twelfth birthday. For as long as I can remember I have always been a daddy’s girl so it was no question that I would remain living with my dad. But it was hard. I mean at the time my mom had her own demons she was struggling with so staying with my dad was the best decision I could have made and it would have broke my daddy’s heart for him to see me leave. I literally am the only family my dad has in the state of Virginia. As I look back on those days I can’t help but be amazed at how far we’ve come. Not only was I going through puberty at the time of the separation and didn’t have my mom around but it just seemed like life was just getting harder and harder. There were so many times where my daddy couldn’t find work, couldn’t afford rent, couldn’t afford to pay bills. We spent summers without water and/or air conditioning, winters without heat, months without transportation but I never went hungry. I always had clean clothes and I always had my dad who loved me and prayed for me. Prayed for us. And God always came through and provided.

 

 

This year for Father’s Day I brought him some food from this new Peruvian place by the house and my dad loved it. After we ate he went in his room and took a nap and as I layed in my bed I just thanked God for us being able to enjoy this hot day inside with central air! Sometimes I look at my life and I think that I’m just stuck and I can’t seem to be moving in any direction but then I look at all the blessings around me and rejoice. They may be small things that most people don’t think about but when you’ve spent summers in a house with no air and it’s 95 degrees outside and you look forward to night time, you’ll realized just how blessed you are. Even when you can’t see God moving, He is.

 

 

I truly thank God for my dad’s role in my life. It’s taught me just how much it means to truly be a man and I use my father as a model for how I would want my future husband to treat me and be a father to our kids. Which really eliminates a lot of guys that I shouldn’t be dealing with in the first place and that’s wonderful. I want to be with a man that my father would be proud to see me with. A man that my dad knows will be faithful in his walk with The Lord, that will work hard to provide, and that I can be safe and secure around.

 

 

So thank you daddy, for raising me in the church, for taking me to the park on saturdays in exchange for pulling out your gray hairs, for always buying me something no matter what store we were in (even Lowe’s), for giving me money for my feminine hygiene products as a teenager and then making corny jokes about them, “You bought a box of cookies?”, for laughing with me when I have to correct you on your accent on certain American words, for everything. Even as a 24 year old woman who’s the same height as you, I am still and will always be your little girl.