None of which will have anything to do with one another so we’re going to jump around today.
With everything that’s been going on since last Saturday I honestly have no words for all of that except that it was a hot ass mess. But what it did do was bring up a lot of conversation about race that many of us should be talking about. I posted a status on my Facebook page about the Black Lives Matter movements and how many people complained about how “violent” they were but how those same people were silent about Charlottesville. And then my “uncle” BY MARRIAGE commented something about how “all lives mattered” and that we “should be doing something about it instead of just talking about the issues” and that kind of triggered me. No, it REALLY triggered me because I’ve heard a lot of people saying that. “Oh anyone can post a status but what are you really doing about the situation?”
The truth is I am doing something about it and I believe that a lot of us are doing more about it now than we ever have before. There is nothing wrong with posting a status about your thoughts on the events that are happening because people are going to read it and they are going to talk about it. Now I’m not really one to post about my good deeds or acts of kindness but the other day at my job I just had a simple conversation about race with my Pharmacist that refers to herself as a redneck. Now I honestly love my Pharmacist, she’s from the small town of Bristol, Virginia and has this subtle southern accent. We don’t really get in to political affiliations but I am about 98% sure she votes republican. She is one of the most kind hearted, well-meaning spirits I have ever met. So the other night #Charlottesville came up and we just talked about how utterly disgusted we both were in the violence and bigotry that ensued and lives lost and how it is basically “not that serious.” But the part that really got to me was how she told me during her vacation her sister-in-law made a racist joke about black people and so she called her out on it, and explained to her that her child (who was playing near them at the time) is listening to the things her mom says about other people and then grows up thinking that way as well.
I was, how do these young people say? “Shooketh.” Not only because I was hella proud my Pharmacist took a stand against racism like that but because I feel that these are the conversations that need to be happening and this is how we respond with actions when people who hardly have jobs themselves jump in OUR FACEBOOK comments talmbout’ “That’s just how things are until we do something about it, talking is good but doing is better.”
Let me tell you all something. Do not let people who have nothing better to do with their time try to condemn you for your thoughts and opinions on matters that you are passionate about. Do not waste your time trying to argue with them, tell them why you feel that way and move on because you can’t argue with ignorance.
But the purpose of this post was not to throw all that shade so let’s move on to this week’s questions!
This past week I got these two interesting questions that I’m really happy I got. I am so glad a lot of you seemed to really enjoy my previous post on forgiveness.
Yes, I did end up forgiving that person and although the conversation was still very hard, and the devil STILL tried to come for my happiness. In the end I felt like I did what I needed to do and I felt a great weight being lifted off of my chest. No I don’t see us becoming friends any time soon or even in the next few years for that matter but I do feel like that tie I had to him was finally cut off. I’ve forgiven him and I can really move on with my life because I have made peace with the situation. True forgiveness starts in the heart, not only did I forgive him but I even apologized for things that I’ve said. It wasn’t easy but it was necessary for my healing. I am not completely healed, I’ll always remember nearly driving off a bridge this time two years ago because my car hydroplaned and then getting left for another woman right after but in the future those wounds won’t hurt nearly as bad. God always takes us through things for a reason.
And for the second question
What Qualities do I look for/have prayed to God for in my future husbnad?
The number one thing on my list and that I absolutely have to start with is a Godly man. I pray for a man that is going to lead me spiritually. I am a heavy thinker, and I get stressed so easily, so I need a man who’s going to turn to me in my hard times and say something like, “Why are you so worried about this situation when you know that God is going to lift you up out of it?” I mean Godly in every aspect of it. I’ve dated a lot of “Christian boys” and “guys who believe in God” but never in my life have I dated a Godly man. Godly men don’t ask you come over after 11pm to just “hang out.” They don’t pressure you to have sex or do things you don’t want to do for their pleasure. I’ve made those mistakes before and dated guys like that and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere but left me heartbroken. Every. Time. So not only do I pray for a Godly man but I pray for the ability to walk away from the men that don’t possess this quality and it has been very effective lol
As for other qualities, I would like a man that I can get along with and can share that special friendship with. I believe in that spark. That feeling of just knowing that this is the person for me so I pray that God reveals that to me in my future husband. I also want to be with a guy that is on the same level as me intellectually, which is probably why I can no longer date guys from Richmond, but anyways!
This morning I was thinking about some of the past guys who have shown an interest in me over the years and I chose not to date them because I just knew that we didn’t have that spark. I mean they were “good guys” loved the Lord, prayed, went to church, all that but I never felt that special connection with them. Now they got girlfriends, or happily married, even married with kids. I’ll stumble upon them on social media and think, “Dang. That coulda been me in Europe right now”
But I was never that cold-hearted. I never wanted to be with a person thinking that I’m only with them based on what they can give/do for me. I know in my heart that someday God is going to send me a man that is going to make me realize why I chose to wait for him. Sometimes we miss out on the great things God has for us because we chose the things that we want at the time because they are convenient to us or just look good.
I hope you all continue to read and enjoy my posts! Remember to comment, like and share!
I think next week i’m going to take a break from the questions because I have something else on my heart I’d like to share with you all but continue to send your questions here and I’ll answer them in a future post!