So I’ve heard stories of many Christian women who created lists of their “dream man” and some who believe that they even received one from God. I however, have never felt led to create a list and the thought of doing it made me think that I was wasting my time. BUT the other day I made one out of blue. I put all these things on the list, some realistic and some not so much. Some silly and some so not so suitable for children (I’m human.) Anyways, after I wrote it I put it away and decided that it was done and that I can now say that I made a list. Did I think that it would come true one day? Not really. But I did get some clarity about it while watching a YouTube video a few days after. I started watching this video about a young woman talking about how she made a list of all the things she wanted in a man and eventually got a chance to go out on a date with her “dream man” only to realize that after prayer and discernment, her list of qualities in a man that she thought she wanted was not the man that God wanted her to be with. It made me think back to my list and at that moment I had to ask God not to send me the man that I wanted but to send the man I needed, more importantly the man that He saved specifically for me with the qualities He designed especially to fit me.
Maha Maven is the young woman who’s videos I started watching and she makes some really good points. I decided that I would take some of her points and combine them with some of my own that I came up with when it comes to dating as a Christian woman.
- Stop thinking that every guy you meet may be your husband. This certainly has affected me when it came to dating last year. I would meet a guy and always think, “Well maybe this is my husband?” But it wasn’t. It can become a big distraction and prevent you from keeping your focus on more important things. Like God.
- Stay away from toxic men. Don’t even entertain it. You know who these men are so I shouldn’t even have to tell you. But I do have to tell myself at times. Yes, this includes that guy that you know you shouldn’t get involved with but you do anyway because you get lonely and he makes you feel good, wanted, desired. Stop. Just. Stop. It also includes guys who are interested in you but put zero effort into courting you. It seems as if some men expect you to just take whatever bone they throw. Keep in mind that you are not desperate, just because a man shows an interest in you does not mean that you have to entertain it especially if you know this is a man that you should not be getting involved with. If a bit of your gut is telling you that this may not be a good idea then chances are it’s actually the Holy Spirit telling you to flee the situation.
- Obedience is your responsibility. Outcome is God’s. This is a quote from Pastor Steven Furtick that was mentioned in the video. Obedience is not about holding out for sex and remaining abstinent just so God can send you a man. It’s about chasing after God and growing in your purpose so that you live your life happily whether your in a relationship or not.
- Singleness is not a burden. You don’t “deal with it” you thrive in it. I truly believe that I saved the best for last. Being single is your chance to accomplish so many amazing things that you can’t always do while you’re in a relationship. Especially when you’re in your twenties. You can switch jobs and move across the country if you wanted to, you could go back to school, you could even start a business. Take this opportunity to not only grow spiritually but grow as a person while taking care of yourself. Get active, visit places you’ve never been before, and most importantly HAVE FUN!
Here’s a link to the video I watched the other day. I hope you guys click on it and check out some of her other videos too. Thanks for reading and remember to like, comment, and share!