It’s been a little over a month since I’ve posted anything but I want you to know that my absence was not in vain. I had some things going on that I will get to but right now I want to introduce to you a series that I am starting and will be posting on for the next few weeks. While I was out I had this idea of starting a blog series. Sometimes I get these ideas and even posts that I write and then after I’ve posted it I think to myself, “Man, I should’ve said this, or talked about that…” Well, in this series I’ll try my absolute best not to leave anything out.
Bad Girls Rehab
The concept for this series was of course for me to talk to you women. Yes, women! Sorry guys, this series isn’t meant for you but I won’t stop you from reading it. Bad girls rehab is a title that came in to my mind after reading a devotional a few months ago on sexual sin through the Bible app. But the title came back to me this past week. While I was away I thought about blogging everyday. I even came close to starting something but my fingers just wouldn’t move and I was stuck so I shut my computer and waited for God to speak to me. And He did this past week. Part of the reason why I was out is because I was dealing with this horrendous cavity in my mouth but my anxiety and fear of the dentist was so bad that I refused to go until the pain got so bad it was keeping me from sleep. I wasn’t in the right space mentally to put anything out there. So I sucked up every fear and asked everyone I knew (even my pastor) to pray for my anxiety while I try to make an appointment in order to get back to you guys. But my fears were so bad I couldn’t even look up a dentist! Thankfully one Sunday as I laid in bed hurting I researched emergency dental appoinments, I found one litterally across the street from my apartment. Fast forward to now, the devil is a liar, I conquered my fear and I am one tooth less. The worst part is over and now I can enjoy ice cream again.
But back to the subject at hand,
I am a bad girl. Or better yet, I was. Not anymore and a full year of celibacy has taught me lot about God and myself. Things I didn’t know I did or even needed. I spent the past seven-ish years in and out of relationships and I’m finally over it. God convinced me last year that enough was enough. It was time to stop looking for Mr. Right and start looking for ME! Who I was and who I wanted to be. I wasn’t even the girl who needed a man to feel complete. I just wanted the attention. Vulunerable moment: I just wanted men to want me. That way I could pick and choose which one I wanted the most. I loved my options. But now, being single and choosing to remain single and celibate has taught me that my validation doesn’t come from men, it comes from God. And yes, we all know this but sometimes it takes us a while to really grasp this concept. I didn’t realize that about myself until I took a step back from social media and had to check myself. Like why? I always jokingly ask myself, “Why am I like this?” But sometimes you have to really try to answer it. Removing myself from social media helped me to avoid being being sucked in to certain comments. I’ve trained my mind to get so far away from the attention that now I sometimes get annoyed when men comment on my pictures because now I know that I’m more than that. There’s more to me Angelica than just a pretty face and curves.
So I am rehabilitating myself and I welcome you ladies to come join me. I’ve never been to an actual rehab but I watch enough TV to know that it is not easy. Yes, saying no is hard, tempatation is hard, feeling lonely and wanting company IS HARD but I can tell you one thing, a night of passion can bring a lifetime of consequences. When you connect with someone sexually you’re not just joining bodies, you’re joining spirits and you do not want to get mixed up with the wrong spirit! I have been there before and it is not good because the wrong spirit can lead you down a dark path. Some people call it being (excuse my language) Dickmitized. Nah sis, that’s that spirit in you that’s making you act up! You shouldn’t have been shacked up with him in the first place but it’s okay, we’ve all been there. Sex feels good but you know what’s even better? A clear mind filled with pure happiness. I don’t live a perfect life but I’d rather come home to enjoy my own company than the company of a man who’s not good for me.
I have more things and topics I’d like to talk about but I’ll wrap this first post up for now. I hope you’ve enjoyed my first installment of the series. I’m aiming to continue to devote my Sunday afternoons with you all over the next few weeks and maybe months if you really enjoy it. Thanks for all of the comments, likes, and views in my absence. I love you all!
Drop some comments, tell me what you think!