Sweet nothings.

In the past few days I’ve discovered that being celibate for a year and half doesn’t protect you from still getting fed lies from men.

Crazy right?

When I gave up sex I thought to myself, “okay this is it, I’ll be able to easily weed out the bad guys and just focus on myself and my walk and at the right time God will send someone.” But I wasn’t fully prepared for it. I struggled a little harder than I thought I would and didn’t even realize it. I wasn’t craving sex I was craving attention with a little intimacy. I just wanted to be around a man that wanted me and I actually wanted back. It sounds a little confusing but I don’t find myself interested in plenty men. I’m attracted to intelligence as well as godliness and you don’t find much of that where I live.

So I reconnected with someone, an old friend, and what meant to solely be friendship ended up being a little more. But he was already committed to someone else and even though I told myself and him time and time again that it wasn’t right and I shouldn’t allow myself to get involved with someone like this especially after being cheated on myself. I still fell victim to the lies, to the sweet nothings. He tried to convince me that what we had was special that it was meant to be. But how could it be when he already belonged to someone else? And I didn’t for once think that he would actually leave her. A part of me didn’t want him to because I knew. I KNEW he wasn’t the man God wanted me to be with. I just wanted someone to hold me.

In the end I finally decided to just let the whole thing go and I’m okay with that. I just can’t imagine me having had the same reaction if we had been sexually intimate. But emotionally it was still wrong. It just further lets me know that I still need Jesus and I still need time to be alone. Celibacy isn’t the easiest thing to do but when you have time to sit and actually observe the ridiculous things men say/do to you and your girlfriends you realize why it’s necessary.

My suffering was good for me,

for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees. Psalm 119:71

That’s all for now. See you in May or possibly sooner?

Like, comment, share

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Sweet nothings.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Things don’t work out for you in your favor because you have pettiness within your heart. You also don’t seem to practice what you preach. You’re online persona is completely different vs the one we see at church. You speak Godly but have tons of pettiness in your heart. You really need to pray on that. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • alliamisyoursblog says:

      Things haven’t worked out in my favor and I thank God. He hasn’t put me through anything that I wasn’t meant to go through and just like Paul I am thankful for my transgressions and my hardships for when I am weak it is then I am strong. And to think that someone from my church would actually leave a comment like this in unfortunate, but we are imperfect and I am no different. Thank you for your thoughts.

      Like

  2. Anonymous says:

    My intent of this comment was not to make you upset or for you too even post about it. It was about how you make other people feel and which you have proved my point. You made a whole post and tweets on your twitter for what? I read in past posts that you considered yourself to be super observant of what other people do, but other people do the same to you. You don’t know how your words affect people. You cant hold people in contempt and write and preach about the opposite things. All you have done is proved my point. You’re blog talks alot about womanhood etc and all you do is bring other people down…Calling out you’re ex-boyfriends and lovers in your post…Getting mad at other females and calling them obscene names on twitter…Maybe there is a reason why you are single. But you’re a woman of God? You’re a feminist right? All you have done is just proved my point and that’s factual. So YEAH I’ll continue to pray harder for you.

    Stay blessed.

    Like

    • alliamisyoursblog says:

      First – please don’t confuse yourself or any one else reading this. If you really actually cared about my actions and truly cared that I do better then you would do a few of the following things 1. You would have reached out to me personally to address whatever issue it is you have, expressed your opinion and discuss with me how you feel I could do better. By doing that you would allow space and opportunity for me to hear you out and engage in a conversation that would be meaningful and helpful to my growth. 2. You would provide specific examples and instructions I could actually use and implement to move towards doing better. 3. You would address SPECIFIC things with me instead of ASSUMING something I said or posted had anything to do with you or anyone else. 4. Even if you don’t do any of these things you could AT LEAST post your name so I could have some frame of reference as to what you are talking about. But since you haven’t done any of that I take all of what you say with a grain of salt because it’s evident that you are NOT concerned that I do better (because you haven’t taken any actions towards that), but you are MORE concerned with being negative and adding the tag line of “you will pray for me” to, I guess, make it sound good 🤷‍♀️. But I don’t know, there is no way for me to know WHAT your intentions are because once again I have no clue WHO you are and WHAT you are talking about. So in essence you’ve decided to come to my page and just be a troll. And if that makes you feel happy or justified then rock on.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s