Raining while the Sun is out

Sometimes in life you’ll come across people who do not like you. That’s okay. It is not your job to try and figure out why. I like to think of myself as a naturally “likeable” person and I don’t think I give people a reason not to like me. I mean, I hardly talk. How can you dislike someone who doesn’t even speak? Anyways, every now and then I’ll meet someone who doesn’t exactly vibe with me. Not to say I can always tell when someone isn’t very fond of me but most of the time I can feel when someone’s energy doesn’t exactly align with mine. It’s happened at school, at work, even at church. These people I tend to keep my distance from.

The other day I woke up to a rather unpleasant comment on one of my blog posts. Instead of attacking this person back in my response, I thought about it, read it over about five times, sent it to like three of my friends, and then responded. I acknowledged my own faults and mistakes in knowing that I was not perfect but in my reply I realized that I could not apologize for someone else’s insecurities. I don’t know why I was singled out the way that I was and my friends could not understand either. I would be lying if I said it didn’t frustrate me that morning (I was already moody from other issues going on) but someone said something to me that brought some clarity to my situation. He said,

“None of us are perfect and it’s brave of you to be transparent through such a platform, it puts you at risk for such comments but the purpose is bigger than them!”

Blogging is not always easy or even fun. I share too much, I overthink and sometimes I cry when I’m pouring out my emotions on to my laptop. But you read it and you love it. You tell me how you’ve struggled just as I did. You share my love of Christ and wanting to seek Him fully. You support me and feel my pain. You laugh with me and you hurt with me. But most importantly, you heal with me. This blog started as a way to get over a tough breakup but it has turned in to so much more than that.

Knowing who you are in Christ serves as a weapon against the enemy and against those people come to attack you. I know that I am not perfect and many times I think just the exact opposite. I don’t consider myself the prettiest or the brightest. Lately I’ve been struggling with whether or not I am even worthy of God’s love and the love I receive from others. But God constantly reminds me that I am smart, I am beautiful and I am worthy of His love.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.

James 1:2-3

 

Thank you for letting me be honest with you, for letting me cry to you. For letting me finally have a voice when so many people didn’t think I had one.

 

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