The Liebster

So the other day I was at work bored (don’t tell anyone) and I was scrolling through WordPress reading some blogs that I follow and saw that I was mentioned in one of my friends blogs and she nominated me for this award as a way to inform other readers of blogs that they’ve enjoyed reading.

 

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting mbmdotlife at church last year through one of my good friends from my old church. We even ended up in the same small group, which was amazing by the way. Anyways, you guys should check out her blog. It’s full of faith, fashion, and lots of other good stuff (Like a recipe for crockpot apple cider that looks delish!) I can assure you that you’ll love it.

 

Well here we go, here are 10 random facts about me:

 

  1. I am left-handed
  2. My favorite season is Spring. I have terrible seasonal allergies sometimes but I love the cool air and flowers in bloom.
  3. I am bi-racial. My mother is black and my father is Mexican. 
  4. I guess you can say i’m pretty tall. I’ve been 5’7 and a half since the 7th grade and that was interesting. 
  5. I love changing my hairstyle. I feel like it’s my way of expressing myself.
  6. I’m pretty quiet around people. Actually I am very quiet around people. I didn’t start really being social and having friends until college lol 
  7. I LOVE sweets. Cookies, cakes, ice cream and chocolate. Especially DARK CHOCOLATE. Omg. 
  8. I am a catlady. Her name is Luna and she’s my pride and joy. 
  9. I have four tattoos: FAITH, LOVE, Si se Puede, and a feather. Gonna get my half sleeve one day…
  10. I work as a pharmacy tech in a free clinic for individuals who are below poverty and can’t afford insurance.

 

And here are my other questions from mbmdotlife

 

1. What inspired you to create your blog?

I created this blog after a pretty tough breakup as a way to express my feelings and emotions at the time. I also wanted to reach out to other women who went through similar situations.

2. What are 3 of your goals for this year?

My three goals for this year would be to: Start back taking some classes this year. Dig deeper into the Word and read more books. Also, to take a vacation sometime this summer because I could use one. 

3. What do you feel your purpose is?

I feel like my purpose is to serve women. I have always had a heart for women. I remember I was dating this guy in college and he asked me what I wanted to do in the future and I told him that I wanted to start a non profit to help young women find jobs and do better in school and he told me that it was unfair that I wanted to cater to only women and not young men as well. What an ass, right? 

4. What’s your favorite restaurant?

As much as I should say Mi Hacienda because I go there at least once a month. I think that Panchito’s comes in a close second. They’re both mexican restaurants of course.

5. What is your favorite place that you’ve traveled to?

Texas. I loved it. It was everything I have ever imagined.

6. Whats your favorite store?

The beauty supply store. Guuurl, I can blow some stacks up in there!! They have everything my little heart desires. Hair, makeup, more hair!

7. Which season do you like best?

Spring! I really like being outside and I love the fresh flowers like I said earlier. Flowers make me happy. 

8. Whats your dream job?

My dream job would be to work for a museum as an art collector, although I think I’d be happy as a party planner as well. 

9. What do you feel like your biggest obstacle has been in life, How did you get over it?

I think that one of my biggest obstacles has been not finishing college but as I was studying to get my pharm tech license, I worked some jobs I didn’t like, sometimes taking two jobs at a time to pay for my bills and gained the experience I needed to get to where I am and I did it. I have a job that I love with benefits and I couldn’t be more thankful.

10. What are you interested in that most people aren’t?

I like bad movies. Well maybe not “bad” but I like those low budget films that come on tv or netflix that hardly anyone has seen. Especially the black television films. They’re not that bad and have so much potential, well they did. 

 

So I hope you guys enjoyed my post of yet even more things about me. Now it’s my turn to nominate two other bloggers to post their own versions of what I did. So I am nominating…

TheThird7even

TheIntricateWorldofNicole

I have enjoyed these ladies blogs since I started following them and I am not just saying that because I know them personally! But because I have read and been able to relate and I know that you guys will too!

My questions for you are:

  1. What sparked your faith?
  2. Who inspires you?
  3. What do you like to do that cheers you up when you’re feeling down?
  4. Where is someplace you’ve always wanted to go?
  5. What is your favorite item of clothing?
  6. What do you hope readers get to take from your blogs?
  7. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
  8. What is your favorite animal?
  9. When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?
  10. What music do you like to listen to?

 

And if you want further explanation for this game here you go!

The Liebster Award is:

An award that exists only on the internet and is given to bloggers by other bloggers, whose work they find interesting, to motivate them and promote them as well. The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

The Official Rules of the Liebster Award 2017:

Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.

Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.)
Write a 150-300 word post about your favorite blog that is not your own. Explain why you like the blog, provide links.

Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (This year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)
Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 200 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)

List these rules in your post. Once you have written and published it, you then have to: Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post or mine if you don’t have all the information so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it)!

Don’t forget to create 10 questions for them to answer. Notify your nominees and provide a link to your post so that they’ll know what to do. Once you’re done, come back here and comment with the link to your post so others (and me) can check out your answers!

 

 

 

 

 

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Symphony of Illumination

I have decided to do something I’ve never done before. When I started my blog I was hesitant about posting my writing but now I’ve decided to post just a few short pieces of my poetry writings.

I hope you enjoy.

 

 

I fell in love with my solitude

And I rose with the wind

Into my writing

Through my words

And directly and intently in front of you.

 

 

 

 

What would you say if I told you that he hurt me more than you?

I didn’t think that I could experience a pain like this.

Again.

I live with a constant dagger in my heart.

I love with a constant dagger in my heart.

What would you say if I told you I spent more nights in bed crying our first month together, than our first year?

 

You think love can’t get any harder, it does.

 

 

 

I sought to wait for you

To take hold of the moment when He brought you to me

I didn’t realized you were here all along

I look for you in the clouds My inspiration comes from above

The Life of a Hopeless lover

 

 

And who knows, maybe one day I’ll allow myself to fall in love with him but until then I must continue to live my life loving me for who I am.

 

 

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this and as always, thanks for reading!

Ladies: Do not let these men fool you in to thinking that you should be paying for your own meal on dates…

Or what I should have said was, not to let these HURT men fool you in to thinking that you should be paying for your own meal on dates. I’ve seen this conversation come up before, there’s videos of people talking about it on facebook. I even started watching some but I could never get through the whole thing and I have finally decided to make a response. Men and women who believe in “going dutch” and yes I’ve paid for my own meal before, even paid for meals for my man but the key factor in this was that he was MY MAN and it’s healthy to treat your man because he deserves it.

 

 

Dating however, is a different story for me. The reason why I am a firm believer in having the man pay for the meal on dates is simple and Steve Harvey said it best. He is not the prize, YOU ARE! Now, i’m not a huge fan of Steve Harvey giving relationship advice, but he’s got a point here. The Bible teaches us that it wasn’t good for man to be alone so he made woman specifically for man. Genesis 2:18. We were made for man. It is not our job to prove to men why they should choose us to be their partner. I’m an independent woman, I can afford to pay for my own meal and I have no problem in doing so. I’m not looking for a man to be my father (I already have a dad and he’s a great one at that). What I do need however, is for a man to prove to me that I am the one he wants ME to choose by courting me. That’s the problem with dating now. Women don’t give men the chance to court them anymore! Some women have become so consumed in wanting a relationship so quick and fast that they give themselves up too soon only to be hurt in the end. I know because that was me! There was a time where I just wanted a man to love me but I realize now that I want so much more than that. I need so much more than that. Yes, I need love but I also need stability, I need comfort. We get so caught up in wanting a man love us that we neglect to find a man who can LEAD us.

 

 

But let me pull it back some because I’m getting off subject. If we as single women believe that we are a prize then God will send us that leader. The Bible says that he will give us the desires of our heart. I desire for a man to prove to me that he is the one I should choose to do this thing called life with and I trust God enough to know that He will deliver in His timing. So if i’m out on a date and a guy asks me to pay for MY meal then I will do that. I have absolutely no problem in doing so but I can tell you one thing for sure, that will be the last time I go out on a date with him ever again. There’s too many hurt men out here that I simply do not have the time for and if my expectations are too much for them then they aren’t the ones for me. I would much rather spend the next twenty four years of my life waiting for the man God has for me then to go through another shitty relationship and get hurt again. What God has for me will be for me and if we knew just how great His plans are for us then we would gladly spend our time waiting patiently for Him. But we don’t know and the idea of not knowing when something is going to happen bothers us so we rush our lives, take what we can get and then expect God to help us when we fall when we were never meant to have gone through that relationship in the first place.

 

 

Don’t ignore the signs ladies. Know what you want from a man and if he can’t deliver then don’t settle. Please don’t ever settle. You are valuable and you are worthy and you deserve a man that is going to love you the way you want to be loved. It’s not easy being single but this single season that we are in is only because God is preparing us. It may not be for a relationship, it may be for a job or a trip, or a huge life change but remember that it is for a reason.

rihanna

Social Media and the Single Woman

What a dangerous combination.

As I scroll through my news feed, I am overwhelmed sometimes by the things single women post. It’s been mostly about how much they’re “a good woman” or how they do A,B,C, and D so well.. It’s annoying and sad. Why do women feel the need to advertise themselves in order to attract a man? I’m not talking about just posting selfies but I’ve seen women practically post resumes on social media as to why men should want them. Now I know I may joke about being single often on social media but I’m not about to explain to my friends and family why I should be a wife by now. There’s a fine line between joking and sheer desperation.

I believe there’s a difference between acknowledging your singleness and venting your singleness to social media. One is like, “hey I’m going to enjoy this glass of wine and this chocolate cake to myself because I am single and I deserve it.” And the other is like, “Hey, I am a great woman, I’m great in bed, and I look good but no one wants me.” I get it, you’re lonely. Hell, I am too but this is unnecessary. For one, no worthy man is going to look your way and find this kind of talk on social media attractive.

So how about we just not post long rants about not being able to find a good man, because that’s what girlfriends are for, let’s not talk about how good we are (or think we are) at sex, because I’m sure your aunts do not want to see that (and neither do I), instead let’s just be mature women. Our social media pages are a direct reflection of us. You are what you post. Some things are not meant to be said on Facebook during the day and if you’re a woman who likes to express yourself openly then stick to Twitter.

Whether you’re looking for a relationship or not, you never know who is looking at or may come across your pages. I mean if censoring yourselves for employers isn’t enough then please do it for your dignity. We can’t post about God sending us a good man in the morning and then post about unholy fornication at night. I mean I admit that I’ve deleted things from my pages because I had one too many glasses of wine that night and that’s perfectly fine. But as one wholesome single woman to another, know you’re worth. You should never feel the need to overly advertise yourself on social media for approval of men and you cannot force them to like you. The right man will come around, just be patient. Damn.

giphy

 

More than skin deep. My awkwardness defined.

How did I grow up to be the tall, awkward, shy but opinionated, optimistic mixed girl? 

Since I started school I was always quiet. I remember my first day of kindergarten I cried because I was so scared of being away from my parents. I was always very shy and as I got older that’s pretty much what every one who actually acknowledged my existence thought of when someone would mentioned me. But even though I was shy I still had to develop thick skin at an early age. I was in third grade when we had to move from the county to the city. It was a culture shock for me. I went from a predominately white elementary school and having mostly white friends to going to a very urban school with mostly blacks and Latinos. I remember my first day there I was walking in line to go to lunch and this dark skinned black girl was sitting in the corner because she was in time out and gave me the most stank look I had ever seen. She took that one look at me and I was so shocked and confused. I didn’t even know her and she basically hates me for no reason. I realized as I got older that it was obvious. There she was this dark skinned big lipped girl with corn rows sitting in time out and here I was this new light skinned girl with long curly hair just going to lunch. She was jealous of me and she honestly wasn’t the first. But I never thought of myself as the pretty one. Elementary school was the only time I looked at myself as “decent.” 

Middle school was the worst for me. Not only was my body changing, my parents separated and I stayed with my dad, my only friend moved away, my dad wasn’t working so he couldn’t afford to buy me school clothes which I really needed because I hit a growth spurt in 7th grade. I was 5’7 in 8th grade wearing Reebok classics (they were huge) but all I could think about was if I was going to eat when I got home and if this would be the week we get our water turned back on. My life was rough in middle school but thank God we survived. Boys were the last thing on my mind. 

The summer before 9th grade started my best friends gay uncle (Uncle Isaac) introduced me to makeup. He had this little powder makeup compact and he said “Ooo let me try this on you and see how it looks!” So I let him and it honestly changed my life. I had acne scars really bad and I didn’t really know how to take care of my skin so when he powdered my face my eyes opened up and I finally thought that I looked decent again. So at 14 years old I began wearing makeup and since we still moved around a lot I was constantly being “the new girl.” High school was better but not really. I was still shy but since I was getting attention from boys (finally) I no longer thought of myself as ugly. But since I was was still shy and no one knew, I was labeled as conceited. Which was HIGHLY wrong!

Going away to college was my breakout moment. Since it was my first time alone I was forced to open up and make friends and simply speak up for myself. Even though I didn’t finish college my time there still helped mold me into the woman I am today. I had to go through bad relationships and learn how to speak my mind. I had to stop being the shy girl and say the things I had always wanted to say. Since I went through the things I went through as a child and had accepted Jesus I realized that I was always going to be alright no matter what He took me through. And I know that I may not be in the most perfect place in my life now but it’s surely better than the place other people imagined me to be in. The odds were always against my sister and I growing up. Having a mother who wasn’t always around made us destined for early pregnancy and welfare. And even though my sister did get pregnant at an early age she also worked her ass off to become a nurse and beat those odds. That gave me hope. Growing up the way I did gave me an optimistic look on life. Yes I may not have my life altogether but at least I ate today lol 

So here I am, 23 years old and still shy at times. Although I’ve built up more confidence over the years I’m still very awkward. I like to observe people and I can’t help it. When I was just shy I wouldn’t talk but I would always listen and I still do. I can also talk to people all day but sometimes I just want to watch other people. My constant observations haven’t always been the best quality of mine however. Mostly because with my observing comes thoughts. I feel like people should know what they’re doing wrong, not that I’m always right about people but if I think someone’s going to make a bad decision I’m going to tell them. I think my honesty makes me a better person. I would want people to be honest with me, but I have learned that everyone can not handle the honest truth. 

In the end I’m satisfied with who I’ve become. I know I’m not finished evolving and I’m welcome to growth. I love being able to call myself a Mexican and a black woman. I am also thankful that we now live in a society where dark is not considered “ugly” because people ask me all the time if my mother is light skinned and I say no. My mother a beautiful dark skinned woman and she is part of the reason why I have grown to be the confident woman I am today from learning from her. She never thought of herself as “less than” because she wasn’t light. My mama is a strong black woman and so am I so be proud of who you are no matter what shade you are! 

I stand with all of those around the world who marched for women’s rights and the rights of so many others! You are so amazing whether you marched along or admired from afar. We can’t stop, we must continue this fight and love one another on the way no matter what color, shade, sex, religion, or political party.

You guys just keep giving me content for my blog.

Let me just start off by saying that this is my blog, not a college essay. Therefore upon posting I try to proofread my posts a couple of times but it still it may end up being a little sloppy. I could care less though as long as i’m getting my point across lol

Now for the real reason why i’m here. I will start by telling you about a small situation that occurred today. So a couple days ago I ran into a friend at the Wawa. We talked for a little and then planned to hang out. So i’m thinking, “oh okay cool maybe we’ll get dinner or a drink at the bar and just talk.” Nah. So today came along and I asked him where he wanted to meet and this guy responded with, “Just come over.”

 

create-own-memes

Now, this is not a guy that i’m particularly interested in. I mean, maybe he would be if I was actually interested in a male companion but i’m not. But that’s not even the reason why i’m so bothered. I’m bothered because after he said that I replied with, “No. I’d rather just get food. I’m hungry.” SO THIS GUY SAYS, “Whoa. That was kinda rude.”

 

kanye-how-meme

 

Now me being the outspoken feminist that I am. I said, “Because I said no? Because i’m entitled to my own decisions? Because i’d rather get food? Lol which one was it?”

 

As I sit here still wondering which part of what I said was rude (Because I obviously haven’t gotten a text back yet with the response) I don’t understand what else he expected? For me to ask him to send me the address? What did he think was going to happen? I hardly know this guy and who knows what could have happened if I did go over there. As women we have got to be smarter. And I am saddened because how many of us have actually fallen for something like this? Some of these men, are so quick to call a woman a whore for sleeping with them and yet if they say no to being in a position like that then they’re, “rude.” I’m not saying that if i had went over there he would have tried to put a move on me but come on guys!?

I have been up since 7am. I went to a working job interview, I went to work at my actual job, and then I went to my nieces basketball game. I was starving but even if I had been home all day I still wouldn’t have felt comfortable going to that man’s house. So if i’m rude for thinking about my safety and my well-being then let me be rude then. I have been called MUCH worse.

 

So ladies, protect yourselves and NEVER be afraid or ashamed to say NO. 

 

lana

#imwithHER