When God reminds you that He is God

It happens to us all. Sometimes in big moments and sometimes in smaller ones. For me, he had to show me in the bigger ones last year.

 

So even though 2017 was just a few days ago I wanted to talk about how He had to remind me that He is God during the last few months of the year.

 

(This is going to be one of my more personal posts btw..)

 

So towards the end of the year I started dating this guy and in the begining I struggled with trying to decipher if this was the guy that God wanted me to be with. Turns out that it wasn’t but the way He had to reveal that to me was through a series of events that led me to realize that I needed to fast for the whole month of January.

 

Let’s start with October of 2017. I wake up in the morning and as i’m on my way to work I get into a car accident and end up rear ending the lady in front of me. My is car is nearly  totalled but somehow still driveable. I have hardly any money to get it fixed let alone purchase a new car, so I have no choice but to continue driving this car when my dad is unable to take and pick me up from work. A week later, on a day when I chose to drive my car to work, I get a phone call around 8:45 in the morning from who I thought was my mom. It wasn’t. It was her neighbor using my moms phone to tell me that my mother has just had a seizure and is on her way in an ambulance to the hospital. The only thing I could think of was, “God please don’t take my mom. Not right now.” As i’m on my way to the hospital i’m calling my sister telling her to meet me there. She’s hysterical. I’m trying to hold it together for the both of us. It’s just all a mess. We get there, my mom hasn’t got in yet, when she finally does she’s in and out of sleep. We’re all trying to figure out why and how she had a seizure when she’s never had one before.

 

A few days after, my mom’s still in the hopsital. We find out she has a hole in her brain and it’s leaking cerebral fluid. She needs brain surgery to fix the hole and back surgery to drain the fluid. So during this time, I’m back and forth from my sister’s house, work, the hospital, and home. All while driving a busted vehicle.  God, really showed me some humility with that one.

 

A few weeks go by, my mom has her surgeries and they all go well. Thank God. But it was so hard to see my mom in a hopsital not just alone but with machines and tubes in her so helpless. One of the things I thought of was when Jesus washed the disciples feet. All of them, even the ones who He knew would betray Him. I never really had the greatest relationship with my mom especially after she left me and my dad. But now, she needed me and I had to be there. God wasn’t only showing me that I needed to be there for my mom but He was showing her that she needed get her life together because He has the power to take it all away.

 

We get to December, my mom’s out of the hospital and doing better but I wasn’t.

 

This is when God had to show me that He is God and that I can’t continue to live my life like He wasn’t the one in charge. 2017 wasn’t a bad year for me but there were times when I made mistakes and told God “oh i’m not gonna do this anymore” or “this will be my last time doing this” but I still did it anyway after I made promises to Him that I’d stop. We can not play with God like that and because I did that God had to smack me back in place in the form of my own health concerns to make me realize “Okay God, I get it now. I will definitely stop now.”

 

I understand God’s movements and I never once hated or blamed God for going through issues that I brought on myself from my own selfish habits. This is what discipline is supposed to do. It’s supposed to keep us from making the same mistake over and over again.

 

So here we are in January, I’ve been fasting from social media since the 1st but I broke my fast this weekend for my niece’s birthday and because I knew it was time for me to open up about my own 2017 experiences. Even though I encountered some hardships, I also encountered some major blessings. I started a new full time job that I love. I was able to buy a new car that I absolutely adore. My skin is still clearing up, I mean we good over here! LOL

 

But on a more serious note, I have been talking to God about what I want to aim for and accomplish this year. I’m not one for resolutions but I do believe in progress. I’ve accomplished things that I never thought I’d be able to accomplish last year and so this year I want to do even more. Let’s see what else I can pursue and produce. (I’m speaking in terms of fruits and not babies!) I also feel as though God is telling me to be patient while He works. I really do want to put my full trust in Him because I want to be the woman that I’ve always dreamed of becoming because I know that I am not perfect. I mean, how can I be a woman that wants to speak life and wisdom in to other women when I’m not living right myself? But at the end of the day I am just as broken as the next woman. I stumble, I fall, I’m still gonna make some mistakes, but I don’t want to continue to make the same mistakes. Do you ever just get overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord. Like even though we hurt God, lie to him, go back on promises, and just be all out DUMB, He still loves us. He still nailed ALL of our sins on the cross and we don’t deserve it. Which leads me to my other “resolution” or “progression” I want to go even further in the ways I talk about God. I want to really try to reach other people and have them know  that this girl really loves the Lord with all of her heart. Because I honestly do, and if it had take me going through everything in 2017 to get here then I know that it was worth it. God tells us that if we only knew, if we only KNEW the prize he has for us! And that’s what I want. If I have to be single for the next 10 years of my life waiting on the man God does have for me then bring it on!

 

Plus y’all already know how I feel about men now so it’s nothing I can’t do 🙂

 

 

Nonetheless, let’s not blame God for our own decisions and what He takes us through. One of my favorite scriptures comes from 2 Corinthians. Paul says,

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

 

It’s in those difficult times that we’re at our strongest because that’s when our faith increases and we have no other choice BUT to trust God. We have the power to move mountains with our faith so I thank God for showing His love for me in sufferings and I gladly take His discipline because it just means that I’m growing in Christ.

 

If you’ve made any resolutions this year then I hope that you stick with them, but my prayer is that you also progress this year. Aim to be a better person, do better, and make wiser decisions. Listen to God when He’s telling you no and when He’s telling you yes. But also when He’s telling you to just wait and be patient.

 

Love always,

Angie

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Symphony of Illumination

I have decided to do something I’ve never done before. When I started my blog I was hesitant about posting my writing but now I’ve decided to post just a few short pieces of my poetry writings.

I hope you enjoy.

 

 

I fell in love with my solitude

And I rose with the wind

Into my writing

Through my words

And directly and intently in front of you.

 

 

 

 

What would you say if I told you that he hurt me more than you?

I didn’t think that I could experience a pain like this.

Again.

I live with a constant dagger in my heart.

I love with a constant dagger in my heart.

What would you say if I told you I spent more nights in bed crying our first month together, than our first year?

 

You think love can’t get any harder, it does.

 

 

 

I sought to wait for you

To take hold of the moment when He brought you to me

I didn’t realized you were here all along

I look for you in the clouds My inspiration comes from above

The Life of a Hopeless lover

 

 

And who knows, maybe one day I’ll allow myself to fall in love with him but until then I must continue to live my life loving me for who I am.

 

 

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this and as always, thanks for reading!

Do you

Sometimes I sit in my room and think to myself, “Wow, there’s people in this world that genuinely do not like me.” But then I realize that for every person that doesn’t like me, there’s like 10 people who adore me!

But this isn’t some vain post about all the people I’m cool with or how many friends I have.

This post is about how sometimes you’ll come across people who don’t or just stop liking you. And that’s okay. Who knows why these people stopped liking me; and I’m not talking about just ex best friends, there’s ex boyfriends that really despise me too but I’ve realized that I can not reverse who I am as a person. I am strong, I am opinionated, and I tell people the honest truth without sugar coating things. For example, if you’re dating a sh*tty guy, I am going to tell you that he’s a sh* tty guy and that you deserve better because I want what’s best for you. I’ve realized that some women just aren’t strong enough to simply walk away from bad relationships like I am and that’s okay.

(Actually it’s not okay. Know your worth child!)

As for ex boyfriends, I know that I am not perfect but I also want what’s best for me. No I haven’t always made the best relationship decisions, but I have always had the strength to walk away from each one when it became more than I could handle. It was when I realized that my sad/miserable days outweighed my happy/content days within my relationship. In the most humble way possible I tell myself that I deserve the best because I believe that I myself am the best and I am worthy of a healthy and God driven love. If I am not receiving what I want out of a relationship then it’s time for me to leave. But for some reason, some of my ex’s believe that this was “asking for too much” or me being “spoiled” so they dislike me because I decided to walk away from them without continuing to put up with their mess.

Well yes. I am spoiled. I was spoiled by a man that loves me unconditionally and worked hard to provide for me and show me what a real man is like.

Thank you daddy.

But anyways, I say all of that to say this; there will be people that come around and will genuinely not like you and there isn’t anything you can do about it but to accept it. People come into your life for reasons and it teaches you something about them. That people are not perfect. We all have flaws and insecurities and oftentimes these people will try to break YOUR spirit and take it out on YOU. But you need not to worry about these people. Block them, move on with your life, and enjoy the peace God gives you when you realize that you don’t even need these people in your life. Think about the people that do like you and think your amazing and a joy to be around. These are the people that matter.

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Update* I forgot to mention go follow the new Instagram: @alliamisyoursblog

I love love

I do, honestly. I love seeing people happy in love. I would even love to see myself happy and in love one day. Getting married and perhaps having a baby or two. Love is a beautiful thing.

 

But my life. Oh my life.

 

I dream of the day a man worthy enough comes in to my life and truly makes me happy. But we all do no matter what we’ve been through.

 

One of my favorite things to do is to sit in my room with a glass of wine and listen to love songs all night while imagining I’m out with a man who adores me and wants to be with me. I see myself being a housewife some day cooking thanksgiving dinner and throwing lavish parties with glass plates and tableware. My husband and I go golfing on Saturday mornings and then come home to take the kids out after. We go to church on Sundays and hold hands as we pray.

 

I realize this is a little contradicting to my previous post but a girl can still dream right?

Just some thoughts

I’m not anti marriage/relationship

I’m anti unhappy marriage/relationship

This doesn’t mean that I don’t want to get married some day. I’d love to get married one day but I’m not going to marry some one just for the title or attention. I’m also not going to marry someone who makes me unhappy.

I know that relationships can be tough and rocky but I believe that there are some things you should be able to work out and some things that are red flags that you should turn away from.

As for me there are things that I simply refuse to put up with. I have noticed that by now I have dated my share of guys. Men love to fall in love with me but they don’t stay with me. It’s not my fault. At least I don’t think it is. In my opinion I believe that I deserve to be loved in a certain way and if a man can not love me in that way then I can not be with him.

I would like a man’s love for me to be open and honest and when we have a disagreement I want to come together to figure out a solution so that it doesn’t happen again. I feel like many young men do not understand this concept. Young men can be very selfish. They want to be seen as “leaders” yet they have no idea what it’s like to actually lead a person. They want women to just say yes to every proposition they make without giving us anything in return. Men love to take but they don’t know how to give back. They think that material things are what women want and need but not it’s not. We want emotional security more than anything.

At least I do.

Yes I like nice things. But I also like nice men. Men who listen to me and consider what I’m saying and asking for out of a relationship.

But men like to be difficult as always and I refuse to settle for just any relationship. I know there’s going to be hard times but if I can’t trust you to be there for me to get through those hard times then I can’t be with you.

Anyways, this was just another random single black female post. Continue on with your Sunday…

Questions?

Love that will not let me go

As single Christians I have noticed that there is such a huge emphasis on finding the right person that it often becomes a bigger priority than our walk with Christ. We always hear about establishing a relationship with Christ and then He will send us the person we are meant to be with.

 

But what if you aren’t meant to be with anyone? What if God is calling you to be like Paul? Work for Him spreading the Good News and being single the rest of your life? Will you follow His calling?

 

I wanted to ask this question because in my first year of singleness I felt like there were too many people pushing me to find someone to be with. Of course with me being the person that I am, I wasn’t going to settle for just anyone. But it made me think about other women and men who fall into the trap of spending the rest of your life worrying about if this is the day your soulmate will walk in your life. Maybe you’ve imagined yourself walking into a coffee shop and you’ll look over and God will whisper in to your ear saying, “That’s the one.” We get so caught up trying to date and meet people that we lose our focus from God. Yes, finding our significant other is something we all want but what if God is not calling you to be with anyone? Yes, majority of us will fall in love and get married (God doesn’t really call that many people to stay single for the rest of their lives) but I asked the question about Paul earlier because I had to accept the fact that if God didn’t have anyone for me then I would still be happy.

 

If you truly believe that Jesus is enough for you and that He is your rock and Salvation then why do you feel the need to have anyone else?

 

During my second year of singleness I had come to the realization that if God wanted me to spend the rest of my life doing something I absolutely love and spreading the love and Word of Christ, then I didn’t need a man and I would still be happy.

 

So light a fire in my heart and I’ll burn for You. 

 

I believe that if we truly put our focus on God and living for Him then of course He will give us the desires of our heart. People would tell me all the time, “God will send you your man when you’re least expecting it.” So I took that time of “least expecting” and challenged myself to really strive after Christ and push myself to really live for Him and to love others.

 

So I started this blog. I wanted to help other women (and now men) on their journey through singleness. But it has also really helped me from removing a growing need for companionship into an evergrowing need for Christ.

 

My vision for writing this post was not to convince people to stop dating or to bash my friends for trying to get me to talk to guys. It is to challenge any single Christians reading this to make sure that your want for marriage does not hold a bigger place in your heart than your relationship with Christ.

 

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.”

‭‭John‬ ‭15:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 
Like always, thanks for reading and remember to comment, like and share! Also continue sending me your questions/concerns here!

 

Listen to Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go by Ascend the Hill

 

Why do guys take so long to ask a girl out on a date? 

Yes, here I go again.

 

I feel like I’ve touched on this topic before but once again it’s popped up in to my mind yet again and I am sitting here wondering why are guys so afraid? I get it, rejection is hard but if the girl is clearly in to you then why are you taking so long?

 

Are you like me? Do guys sometimes message you, send you subtle flirty texts, tell you how you guys should, “hang out” but never really follow through. Well, this post is for you and I am here to tell you to LEAVE THESE GUYS ALONE.

 

Sis, stop wasting your time. If a guy was REALLY interested in you then he would have already taken iniative to ask you out on a clear date. I am telling you all of this because this was me. I would feed in to the cute messages guys would send me about hanging out with the hopes that maybe it would turn in to an actual date but it never happened. Guys love attention just as much as we do and getting it from a cute girl just boosts their ego even more. Now if you’re just looking for a good time then go right ahead, text these guys. But if you’re like me and are tired of young men wasting your precious time then move on. Keep it at a strictly friendship level because as soon as you guys start hanging out he’ll start complaing about how he’s in the “frienzone.” Well, because you put yourself there my guy.

 

But I digress.

 

What you don’t want to do is become emotionally invested in a guy that’s not taking the time to pursue you the way you deserve. Men go after what they want and if he truly wanted you then he would tell you straight up that he’s interested in getting to know you on more than a friendship level.

 

Now in the mean time, prepare yourself for when a guy finally does step to you like a real man and asks you out.

 

But I’ll save that part for another post though…

Girl-Got-To-Have-Standards-Black-And-White-Single-Online-Dating-Gif-1

 

Featured Image

 

Questions?

Now that August is finally over I decided to wait until September to write my next post and I am so glad that I did. These past two weekends have been crazy busy but very good nonetheless.

I went to a PJ Morton concert.

I went out to eat with my family.

I picked up some extra hours at work.

I met my dad’s new girlfriend?

I hung out with some friends and spent Labor Day with my family and friends. 

 

So all in all it has been a pretty good ending to August considering the way that month started out. I can feel that some really good things are beginning to happen in my life but I am going to save that news for another time!

 

I got a few really good questions so here they are, your questions to me answered:

 

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Thank you! And yes I do. As I’ve said in a previous post I have really oily skin. I always have dealt with acne and scarring but it wasn’t until I really started wearing more makeup that I realized, I really need to take better care of my skin.

So I do a few things. I use African black soap by Shea Moisture to scrub off all the dirt and leftover makeup at the end of the day. I also use witch hazel with a small cotton round to really get inside my pores. Sometimes I use a little Vitamin E oil for scarring (It’s pretty oily so I don’t cover my whole face in it). Lastly, I just recently bought some rose oil spray from Marshalls for $5.99 so I use that in the morning and at night after I’ve washed my face so that it’s a little moisturized but not overly moisturized.

 

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Personally, when it comes to relationships I am not one to take people back. But i’m not saying that you shouldn’t. I believe that it’s something you need to seek God for guidance on. If you believe that that person has truly changed and the two of you can move on without dwelling on the past then go for it. In friendships, it’s kind of the same thing for me. I don’t believe in holding grudges but after someone has done me wrong, I have to be weary of them. Guard your heart and try not put yourself in the position to be hurt by them again. If you really love them (whether it’s a family member, friend, or relationship), and feel that they have learned from their mistakes then yes, give them that second chance but do it because YOU want to. People do change and growth is real. Try not to let other’s influence YOUR decisions but also be mindful of their advice. At the end of the day the decision to stay or move on is all based on what you want to do.

 

But if God is sending you signs that you need to leave that person alone then LEAVE THAT PERSON ALONE.

 

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Thank you. Well I would just start off by asking them if you can talk to them about something serious. What I do, is I rehearse what I want to say beforehand. Form your words as if you were talking to someone you don’t even know so that you’re not letting your own emotions show through your words. Also, tell them why you feel the way that you do. Remind them that you’re only telling them because you care but ultimately be mindful about how they might react to the news. You may help them or you may lose a friend, but if telling them how you feel helps them to walk away from whatever situation they are facing then I would say that it’s worth it.

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Ahh yes, I do listen to various types of music. Gospel and worship music are some of my favorites when I’m having a bad day or just need a pick me up. I use Spotify and my playlists are all public so feel free to follow them or just look through them to see what I’m listening to. Currently, I’m really in to Tell All My Friends by Will Reagan and United Pursuit. I’ll post that and some of my other favorites below. But to just tell name a few I really love Israel Houghton, Elevation Church, Hillsong, Travis Greene, Tasha Cobbs, Jesus Culture, Crowder, Social Club, John Givez, Andy Mineo, Mali Music, and sooooo much more!

Tell All My Friends

Worships Songs Playlist

Rap songs by Christian Artists

Mali Music Playlist

Blessings Playlist by Spotify

 

So that’s all of my questions for this week! Feel free to continue sending me your questions here. I also wanted to thank you all for taking the time to click the link to my friends ministry page on the last post. If you missed it you can find it again here. Also, one of my friends from my church is planning to go on The world race so if you are being led to donate to a cause or just want to learn more about what that is you can click the link to her page here. Thanks again for taking the time to read my post. Don’t hesitate comment, like, and share!

 

 

 

August.

I had originally planned on talking about something else but as usual God led me in a different direction.

 

Let’s talk about August.

 

You all know by now that I keep it real so I’m just going to put it all out on the table.

 

(Get ya popcorn ready)

 

Oh this month, it all started with me deciding that it was finally time for me to forgive my ex so I did. Everything was fine and I left the conversation with high hopes and forgivenss flowing. That is, until not even 48 hours later when these two young ladies decided to add me as a friend on FaceBook. I mean did they REALLY think that with him being our ONLY mutual friend that I wouldn’t put the pieces together? And yet, when I asked him about it he lied (that nigga still lying!) and said that he didn’t know the young women. So me, being the natural born spy that I am, did my own research and found out that he does in fact know these young women and they are his current girlfriend’s, best friends.

 

And that’s just the begining.

 

I neglected to mention another ex reemerging that I actually hung out with. Nothing happened but I could tell that perhaps he was looking for a little more than what I was willing to give him. So as always, I drowned myself in other ventures as an excuse to not see him again.

 

But back to this current girlfriend.

 

Sometimes God blocks things from you that you don’t even realize and when you come across it down the road you can hardly react because it’s just simply not worth it.

 

I mean, I still reacted though. But, it wasn’t as bad as it COULD HAVE BEEN had I seen this little post that my ex’s girlfriend made about me back in February. What was I doing in February? Oh yeah, minding my business, working two jobs, and trying to get my crush to like me back.

 

But it’s not the post she made about me that upset me. It’s the fact that when I flip out or “overreact” I am told to “calm down” when I say something brash. But when his girlfriend who openly does childish, trivial, high school girl, things like post my name all on her Facebook page about me “supposedly” creeping on her, he does not say a word! Why is it that even after the heartbreak and the forgivness I am still treated like the bad person? Why am I still being persecuted for my emotions?  I had to ask myself, did I really forgive him?

 

I did. I believe in my heart that I did. Yes, I am still hurt from everything that happened but you know, the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy your happiness, peace, your sound mind, all that! I really felt attacked this month but for some reason I go through this emotional rollercoaster every August. Last year around this time I had my heart set on this guy that I traveled across the US for only to tell me when I got back that the long distance thing wasn’t going to work out even though we had already been talking for five months prior to that.

 

However, I refuse to look at August as a bad month. We are nearing the end of Summer and with Autumn being my favourite month I am looking forward to fall folliage. It reminds me of the dead things dying off and just being able to start over again. That’s what I need. I need a do-over. We all could use a do-over sometimes. We go through things and we overreact or do something irrational but it’s not the end of the world. We learn from our mistakes, ask for forgiveness and move on with our lives. Yes, I am known as the petty queen but even my closest friends have noticed that I have toned it down since last year. I have learned that everything does not require a reaction and when you react to ignorant things you are only giving the devil what he wants. You want to really win an argument or a disagreement? Just don’t say anything. Do not mention the situation on social media, don’t bring it up to your friends, just simply go on with your life as if nothing ever happened. That is how you get the victory. Now, I myself am still learning this technique BUT for the disagreements I have chose to walk away from I can honestly say that it was very freeing. It just feels so good to leave a conversation and still have a clear mind without having to stress over what the other person said to you. Really, you guys should try it.

 

So this is me and this was my August. I hope you guys continue to read, like, comment, and send your questions here. We got some good one’s for next week!

 

Also, check out and please LIKE my friends new ministry page on FaceBook Eternally Restored. I am so glad to be able to brainstorm some ideas with my friend for this and I am declaring good things to come out from this. She got T-shirts, blogs, vlogs (possibly featuring me so you’d get to see my face and hear my soft sensual voice) HA! But seriously, I am excited for this and so happy that something beautiful is being grown out of something tragic but that is what Eternally Restored is about, building friendships and coming together through various struggles but finding hope in the Lord.

Rednecks, forgiveness, and Godly men

None of which will have anything to do with one another so we’re going to jump around today.

 

 

With everything that’s been going on since last Saturday I honestly have no words for all of that except that it was a hot ass mess. But what it did do was bring up a lot of conversation about race that many of us should be talking about. I posted a status on my Facebook page about the Black Lives Matter movements and how many people complained about how “violent” they were but how those same people were silent about Charlottesville. And then my “uncle” BY MARRIAGE commented something about how “all lives mattered” and that we “should be doing something about it instead of just talking about the issues” and that kind of triggered me. No, it REALLY triggered me because I’ve heard a lot of people saying that. “Oh anyone can post a status but what are you really doing about the situation?”

 

 

The truth is I am doing something about it and I believe that a lot of us are doing more about it now than we ever have before. There is nothing wrong with posting a status about your thoughts on the events that are happening because people are going to read it and they are going to talk about it. Now I’m not really one to post about my good deeds or acts of kindness but the other day at my job I just had a simple conversation about race with my Pharmacist that refers to herself as a redneck. Now I honestly love my Pharmacist, she’s from the small town of Bristol, Virginia and has this subtle southern accent. We don’t really get in to political affiliations but I am about 98% sure she votes republican. She is one of the most kind hearted, well-meaning spirits I have ever met. So the other night #Charlottesville came up and we just talked about how utterly disgusted we both were in the violence and bigotry that ensued and lives lost and how it is basically “not that serious.” But the part that really got to me was how she told me during her vacation her sister-in-law made a racist joke about black people and so she called her out on it, and explained to her that her child (who was playing near them at the time) is listening to the things her mom says about other people and then grows up thinking that way as well.

 

 

I was, how do these young people say? “Shooketh.” Not only because I was hella proud my Pharmacist took a stand against racism like that but because I feel that these are the conversations that need to be happening and this is how we respond with actions when people who hardly have jobs themselves jump in OUR FACEBOOK comments talmbout’ “That’s just how things are until we do something about it, talking is good but doing is better.”

 

 

Let me tell you all something. Do not let people who have nothing better to do with their time try to condemn you for your thoughts and opinions on matters that you are passionate about. Do not waste your time trying to argue with them, tell them why you feel that way and move on because you can’t argue with ignorance.

 

 

But the purpose of this post was not to throw all that shade so let’s move on to this week’s questions!

 

 

This past week I got these two interesting questions that I’m really happy I got. I am so glad a lot of you seemed to really enjoy my previous post on forgiveness.

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Yes, I did end up forgiving that person and although the conversation was still very hard, and the devil STILL tried to come for my happiness. In the end I felt like I did what I needed to do and I felt a great weight being lifted off of my chest. No I don’t see us becoming friends any time soon or even in the next few years for that matter but I do feel like that tie I had to him was finally cut off. I’ve forgiven him and I can really move on with my life because I have made peace with the situation. True forgiveness starts in the heart, not only did I forgive him but I even apologized for things that I’ve said. It wasn’t easy but it was necessary for my healing. I am not completely healed, I’ll always remember nearly driving off a bridge this time two years ago because my car hydroplaned and then getting left for another woman right after but in the future those wounds won’t hurt nearly as bad. God always takes us through things for a reason.

 

 

 

And for the second question

 

 

What Qualities do I look for/have prayed to God for in my future husbnad?

 

 

The number one thing on my list and that I absolutely have to start with is a Godly man. I pray for a man that is going to lead me spiritually. I am a heavy thinker, and I get stressed so easily, so I need a man who’s going to turn to me in my hard times and say something like, “Why are you so worried about this situation when you know that God is going to lift you up out of it?” I mean Godly in every aspect of it. I’ve dated a lot of “Christian boys” and “guys who believe in God” but never in my life have I dated a Godly man. Godly men don’t ask you come over after 11pm to just “hang out.” They don’t pressure you to have sex or do things you don’t want to do for their pleasure. I’ve made those mistakes before and dated guys like that and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere but left me heartbroken. Every. Time. So not only do I pray for a Godly man but I pray for the ability to walk away from the men that don’t possess this quality and it has been very effective lol

 

 

As for other qualities, I would like a man that I can get along with and can share that special friendship with. I believe in that spark. That feeling of just knowing that this is the person for me so I pray that God reveals that to me in my future husband. I also want to be with a guy that is on the same level as me intellectually, which is probably why I can no longer date guys from Richmond, but anyways!

 

 

This morning I was thinking about some of the past guys who have shown an interest in me over the years and I chose not to date them because I just knew that we didn’t have that spark. I mean they were “good guys” loved the Lord, prayed, went to church, all that but I never felt that special connection with them. Now they got girlfriends, or happily married, even married with kids. I’ll stumble upon them on social media and think, “Dang. That coulda been me in Europe right now”

 

 

But I was never that cold-hearted. I never wanted to be with a person thinking that I’m only with them based on what they can give/do for me. I know in my heart that someday God is going to send me a man that is going to make me realize why I chose to wait for him. Sometimes we miss out on the great things God has for us because we chose the things that we want at the time because they are convenient to us or just look good.

 

 

I hope you all continue to read and enjoy my posts! Remember to comment, like and share!

 

 

I think next week i’m going to take a break from the questions because I have something else on my heart I’d like to share with you all but continue to send your questions here and I’ll answer them in a future post!