Welcome back my friend. January always seems to take forever to get through but we made it. (Yes I realize we’re now halfway into February) Nonetheless, here are a few updates from me:
- I got a promotion at work.
- I’m still figuring out ministry.
- I’m trying to love myself better.
I think these are the most important updates because they all correlate with each other. Since moving in with my parents last summer I felt like I took a step back. I remember talking to my therapist and telling her that I just felt stagnant. Like I just stopped moving and I don’t feel like I’m going anywhere or if I am going it’s not fast enough. But I was going.
Things have changed in those eight months since I came here. Like I said, I did get a promotion at work that hugely worked in my favor. I believe it was also a way of God letting me know that when the time comes I would be able to afford things on my own and not have to worry about the finances as much. That is, if I stewarded my money better but I’m still working on that part.
Youth ministry has been non-stop but so far not in an overwhelming way. I like serving and I love being with the youth. They make me feel young and less bad about spending so much time on Tik-Tok since my role is social media now. It’s also been encouraging me to grow. This whole walk is a constant growth process but being looked at as a leader is different. I remember when I first realized I was taking on this role I thought to myself, “Me?” I never really thought of myself as a leader mostly because I don’t like any type of spotlight but God is going to do what He wants to do as always.
I’ve been really self-conscious lately and I think a lot of it is because of ministry and this social media role. I’ve been trying to be more active with my pages but I can’t help but to think about what people may think about me, the way I look, the way I carry myself. It’s very difficult at times and it’s not because I want to portray a certain image. I want to portray myself and who I am. A Jesus loving, wine drinking, woman. I’ve tried not to think so much about it but that’s what I do. I’m a thinker! However, instead of thinking so much, I’ve been trying to be nicer to myself. To love on myself a bit more and just be patient with me.
I’m a constant work in progress and I guess that’s why I still try to be so vulnerable and honest about the things I struggle with because we all struggle with something and we should acknowledge them and work on them. That’s what I’m trying to do.
Your love is amazing, calling me out
Mosaic MSC Now and Forever
You save me, I’m overwhelmed
Unchanging, now and forever
Your love has healed me, taken my shame completely
Now I can hear You speaking, now and forever
Thanks for riding along with me.